Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

Link once again killed Sonic.

"Hey guys what's up heha!" Sonic reappeared.

Instantly he exploded again.

"LINK HOW COULD YOU!" Cried Mario.

"THIS MADNESS ENDS NOW" Yelled Link.

"What are you talking about little green dude?" Said Sonic.

"AUGH!" Cried Link.

"Don't worry little buddy, everything's going to be okay my little Chao friend."

"I am not a chao!"

"It's okay little buddy."

"Stop it, you're in the wrong place!."

Sonic looked over to mario, in his red suit, moustache, and bulging belly. "DR, ROBOTNIK."

"Who me?" Asked Mario.

Sonic's head exploded, and a bunch of coins erupted from his body. One of the coins smacked Jacob on the forehead and he passed out.

"What are you Nintendo characters doing here?" Albert Wesker said holding a smoking Hydra shotgun.

Edward gasped, Bella had her arms wrapped around Wesker's chest. His black leather coat gleamed like the darkest of oils.

"Hi, my blood sucking ex," Bella said licking her lips. "How do you like my new super man?"

Sonic did not revive.

Wesker laughed, "I guess his continues ran out!"

"Shut up!" Emmet said rushing Wesker.

Wesker crouched down and delivered a savage open palmed shoulder blow. Emmet went sailing back and smacked into a tree.

"Even if you do kill me," Wesker said, popping his knuckles, "Resident Evil 5 has an infinite number of continues."

"We don't die either, haven't you read Twilight?" Edward said.

"No, but my little precious here has," he said gesturing Bella who was behind him. Her arms still wrapped around his chest.

Emmet and Ewdard gasped as Wesker pulled out a grenade launcher.

"Flame rounds," Wesker said.

"Well technically Sonic was a Sega character, you're so stupid ahahahahahahahahahaha." Said Edward, trying to impress Bella, but obviously failing.

"Whatever man, I don't care now that I have my new girlfriend here."

"Edward I want a divorce, and I'm taking my blood back!" She took out a giant steak knife and lunged at Edward's neck.

"I can read your thoughts you know," Edward said. "You actually want to keep me around so you can cheat on your Romeo there," Edward said pointing to Wesker.

"No! That's a lie! I have a shield remember?" Bella shrilled.

"No you don't," Edward said. "We were all just screwing with you. Even the Volturi."

"What?!" Bella said. "Ughh.. no-no you aren't se-serious!" Bella stammered.

"Wow, you soyund just like Kriesten Stuuart," Mario said.

"Yeah, terrible actress," Link added.

Bella put the knife to her neck and slashed it across her neck. The knife bent and broke.

"You stupid immortal slut!" Jacob said snickering.

"Yeah, did you actually think that little knife could penetrate your flesh?" Emmet said.

"Oh crap, we forgot to rescue Zelda!" Link said.

"She'll be alright," Edward said, "But for the mean time we have to get rid of that guy with the sunglasses.

"He looks kind of like the Terminator with that shotgun," Jacob said.

Link began to approach Wesker with his shield and sword at the ready.

Wesker raised the shotgun with one arm and fired. The boom echoed throughout the trees and bursts of flame erupted from the three holes in the gun.

Link raised his shield at the last second and the pellets bounced harmlessly off his shield.

"By the way guys," Bella said. "My new man has infinite ammo."

"Cheater!" Link and Mario said at the same time.

Jacob shifted into his wolf form and howled before charging at Wesker.

Wesker dodged out of the way in a blur of movement.

Bella let out a groan as Jacob rammed into her. She collapsed on the ground clutching at her stomach which was as hard as diamond.

Jacob shook his head, everything around him was hazy and spinning ins circles. Slowly he got his bearings and took a snap at Wesker's side.

Wesker round housed Jacob on the head.

Jacob was knocked to the side, crashing to the ground. Wesker aimed the shotgun at his exposed abdomen and pulled the trigger. The pellets bounced off Jacobs reddish brown fur.

"Impressive," Wesker said before he was rammed by Mario.

Mario pinned Wesker on the ground and gripped both of his legs. Then he lifted him up off the ground spinning him in circles. Upon spinning him for what seemed like twenty revolutions he finally released his hold on Wesker's legs.

"Sweet," Emmet said as Wesker's body flew high into the sky. Birds chirped in surprise and flew out of the trees as his body crashed to the ground somewhere in the distance.

"He'll be back!" Bella hissed still clutching her stomach.

"So you really think he's the Terminator, don't you Bella?" Edward said.

"No, I hate those movies," Bella spat at him.

"Oh yeah, you always liked watching the same lame movies over, and over again."

Meanwhile, Leah had woken up to find herself in a splitting hangover. It didn't help that some guy had just crashed into her hut. Right on the TV. Rage.

Her eyes glinted murder as she phased into a wolf, and leaped at the... hut-crashing dude, who looked a hell of a lot like Albert Wesker, if he was, like, trying to change his image to that of Terminator. Awesome films and game, but it deviated from the point that she was so gonna kill him.

He dodged, inhumanly quickly. Leah felt herself being picked up by the scruff of the neck. Darn it. No TV, a bit hole in the ceiling, and I'm gonna die. Not to mention I could do without the headache.

Just then, the narrator clued the Volturi in, just as they were watching a bunch of the other, forgettable werewolves playing poker, ya know, like that painting of the dogs playing cards.

Thus, Marcus burst in, a few centimeters away from the open door, and raised his hands. Wesker froze, staring at the vampire, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. It was incongruous. Baffling. Mind-numbing. Wesker tried to put what he was seeing together.

It was then that Marcus started to shoot bone shards from his wrists.

"Wow! How come you never did that in the books?" Leah said, as Wesker disappeared, shards of bone in his face and chest.

"Eh. I just wanted the appearance fee. Anyway, wasn't romantic enough for Meyer."

"It would have been so cool, though."

Marcus shrugged.

((Raise your hands those who wish Marcus shot bone shards from his wrists in the books!))

All of the sudden Chuck Norris came in and gave everybody a thumbs up.

A hand pierced Chuck Norris from the back and existed his chest. Then he was lifted up off the ground by Wesker who was alive and well. Chuck Norris moaned, "Everything is bigger in Texas." Before going pale and dying.

Wesker threw Chuck against Marcus who put out an arm blocking the body. It exploded and then Marcus licked the red stuff around his lips. "Mmm," Texas blood taste a lot a better than other blood," Marcus said.

"Why are you wearing that stupid shirt?" Wesker said.

Meanwhile Leah ran away along with the other werewolves.

"What? Did you want me to wear executioner clothes?" Marcus said shrugging.

"That would be more appropriate, although I might confuse you for the executioner in Resident Evil 5," Wesker said popping his knuckles.

"And why are you always wearing sunglasses and fancy suits?" Marcus said doing a lot of arm gestures.

"And why are you moving your hands around as you talk?"

"I'm Italian, remember? I can't help myself."

"If you say so!" Wesker said rushing Marcus.

Marcus jumped into the air and hurdled over Wesker. Then grabbed him from the back.

Wesker bent over and knocked Marcus to the ground. As Marcus tried to rip Wesker's arms off, Wesker picked up Marcus and threw him against a tent. Marcus disappeared inside.

"By the way Dracula," Wesker taunted, "Even if you do kill me, I will come back endlessly. And by the way, your little bone throwing thing did not kill me. I have the ability to heal any kind of wound. I mean, I have to. I've been shot by magnums, shotguns to the face, sniper rifles, rocket launchers, grenades, and everything else you can think of."

"I'm Marcus, you moron!" Marcus said walking toward Wesker. Marcus took three lightning steps forward and picked up Wesker by the neck.

Wesker kicked out into Marcus's chest. Marcus stumbled and lost his grip on Wesker's throat.

Wesker gripped his neck and smiled.

"Albert!" some said from the trees.

"Stop right there!" ordered a female voice with a South African accent.

Both Albert and Wesker turn to Chris Redfield and Sheva, who are pointing guns at him. Chris has a gleaming silver shotgun, Sheva a sniper rifle.

All of the sudden, Chuck Norris rose up. "You forgot one fatal thing, my friend... I'm Chuck Norris, and I can never die." He delivered a roundhouse kick to each of their faces all at once, with a kick so devastating, it ripped a hole in the space time continuum.

"You forgot something to our mutual Texan friend," Wesker and Marcus said at once.

"And what's that?" Chuck Norris said clenching the fist where his chin should be.

"We can't die either."

"So I guess we'll just be fighting to see who gets tired fastest," Chuck Norris said.

All of the sudden Toad came through the space rift. "Mario I have a letter from Peach adressed to you! Bowser took her to a strange lava planet on his space ship!"

Chuck Norris killed Toad with his glare.

In a mad rage Mario fryed Chuck Norris with a fireball that burst from his fists.

Chuck Norris was killed instantly.

"Finally!" Wesker and Marcus said.

Suddenly Death appeared, "I bow to you!" he said bending down on one knee to Mario.

"Why, creepy cloaked man?" Mario said taking off his hat and scratching his head in confusion.

"Because Chuck died years ago, but I was too afraid to tell him," Death said beginning to sob.

"There he is!" the three blood brothers said. "We shall kill Death!"

"Oh no! It's the three drunk rioters from the Pardoner's Tale!" Death said running away.

"You mean as in one of the stories from The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer?" Wesker said.

"Yes," the youngest of the men said before running after the fleeing Death with his brothers.

Everybody shrugged. Chuck Norris's smoldering corpse lay to the side.

Edward read the young rioters mind. I will buy poison from an apothecary and kill those two other fools. The eight bushels of golden florins will be mine.

Edward shook his head, he knew how the story ended. All three of the rioters died. He didn't even have to read the minds of the two others to know that they were plotting to kill him.

"Wow, this story has taken a big turn, what the hell happened?" Rayman.

"Why do people keep showing up? There has to be a source of all this madness!" Mario said.

"I was exiled by an interdimensional beast who pushes people out of their realms. I had no choice but to come here." Said Rayman.

"Wow, I never thought there'd actually be a storyline here!" Said Mario, excitedly. "We must defeat this demon!"

Wesker and Marcus kncoked everybody aside like bowling pins as they continued to battle it out.

Suddenly the stomping of footsteps drowned out their grunts. And then there were moans.

"Zombies!" Link said.

"No, not just any zombies," Wesker began, "the running zombies like the ones form the movies 28 DAYS LATER, and it's sequel 28 WEEKS LATER."

"AND LEFT FOR DEAD 2!" Shouted Mario.

"I love horses!" Said Ellis, who was holding an automatic shotgun.

"Damnit." Said Link, who was sick and tired of all these new characters. "It's as if somebody wants to incorporate a new character every time just to make a joke." He sliced off Ellis' head.