Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

"Kill all sons of bitches, that's my ficial instructions," Ellis said cocking his shotgun. He had a heavy country accent.

"Who are you?" Zoey said.

"I'm from the sequel," Ellis replied.

"LEFT 4 DEAD!" Wesker said shooting Ellis in the face.

"Ouhh! Watch it!" Ellis said.

"What the... there's no bullet hole in you!" Wesker said.

"Of corse not Arnold Scherzoboogger, could you imagine a co-op game with friendly fire?" Ellis said.

"Actually there is friendly fire in Left 4 Dead 2." Said Mario.

"Shit, help I'm down." Said Ellis as he dropped suddenly. The zombies swarmed around. All of the sudden dramatic music started playing.

"Tank!" Yelled Zoey.

"Tank? What?!" Asked Link, right before he was hit with a giant chunk of cement.

Suddenly there was the sound of crying.

"What is-" Mario began before Zoey clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Witch," Zoey whispered to everybody.

"Damn right, I hate that bitch," Ellis said pulling out a pipe bomb.

"Fire in the hole!" Zoey said as Ellis threw the bomb into a horde of zombies. The zombies ran toward it like kids to candy, including the Tank.

"No!" Shouted Zoey. It was too late, the witch was running around shrieking, dashing towards Ellis.

"OHH!" Ellis said as the Witch pounced on him.

Wesker and Zoey pumped the Witch full of bullets. She gave one quick cry and then fell silent.

"Ah, I'm not feeling too good," Ellis said after Zoey treated his wounds. "Everything is in black and white."

"Go down like that gain and your done for," Zoey said.

"Ain't that a fact," Ellis said switching his shotgun for a grenade launcher. He propelled one at a large group of zombies. They were obliterated instantly.

"I'll help," Links aid throwing bombs at the zombies.

"Me to!" Mario said throwing fireballs at the endless hordes of zombies.

"AHH! Get this thing off me!" Edward said as a laughing Hill Billy that was on his shoulders clawed at his head.

"Jockey!" Ellis said.

"Ehehehehehe." The Jockey jumped, and his corpse flew through air as he was filled with bullets.

"Pills here!" Said Ellis, miraculously swallowing the whole bottle without skipping a beat.

"Don't you find it weird that everyone in those games could do that?" Asked Mario.

"It's cuz we're da chosen ones." Said Ellis

"If you think that's weird," Chris said, "Then you should see how me, Sheva, and Wesker over there spray first aid spray in our eyes."

"Not to mention how we can be healed just by eating green, and red colored herbs," Sheva added.

"Don't forget the blue herbs," Wesker said.

"What are you all even talking about?" Marcus said doing the Italian thing with his arms.

"Who cares, zombies are still coming!" Zoey said pulling out a machine gun and basting away at the zombies.

Your Brains by Jonathan Coulton started playing from a mysterious jukebox... The horde was alerted

"I hate that song!" Emmet said covering his ears. "Ah! It's no use I can still hear that ear sore!"

"Marcus!" Edward said. "Kill us now!" he begged almost sobbing.

"I cannot, my ears are cursed as well!" Marcus said ripping his own ears off. They slowly creeped back toward his body. "Stop following me!" he said stomping on his ears. "Why do we vampires have the ability to regenerate?!"

The zombies were blinded by the shininess of Edward.

"Wha-" Zoey began. "you're Edward!" She jumped on him.

"Err... I hate to be rude but I really hate fangirls," Edward grunted.

"Plus you're blocking his shininess," Ellis said obviously jealous.

"Yes, yes, Project Purity is ready to be back in business," said a man running alongside his son. They were running in a stiff animation.

Wesker stuck out his foot and tripped the man.

Marcus tripped his son.

"What is Project Purity?" Emmet said. "Some kind of abstinence program?"

"No you fool!" the boy began before he noticed Emmet and Edward's sparkling bodies.

"Glowing Ghouls!" the father said.

"Those are the guys from Fallout 3!" Ellis said.

"Shame on you Emmet!" Zoey said hitting him on the chin with the butt of her rifle.

"Ohh, what the.." Emmet said as one of his fangs fell onto the ground.

"Looks like you aren't resistant to video game characters," Link said.

"How I know," Emmet said reattaching his tooth.

"Um, why is this fella still knocked out?" Ellis said pointing to Jacob who was still on the floor with his eyes closed.

"Oh, him," Edward said. "A giant coin hit him on the forehead and he passed out."

"Giant coin?" Zoey said before lighting up a Molotov cocktail.

"Technically coins, after the came out of Sonic's body upon getting GAME OVER," Eward said.

"Oh, so the coins disappeared didn't they?" Zoey said throwing the Molotov.

"Of course they did," Albert Wesker said. "His games can't handle too much on screen at one time."

"Shut up, Capcom character!" Mario said. "You're only bragging because you are one of the most detailed video game characters ever composited!"

"Don't forget us," Chris and Sheva said.

Nobody had initially noticed that the Zombie horde had stopped coming.

"They've stopped comin," Ellis said.

"Whew, glad that's over," Zoey said.

"Hay!" Ellis exclaimed. "That's a line from the sequel."

"Well, then I guess the writers at Valve were lazy and decided to recycle some of the script of the original," Zoey shot back.

Edward saw Wesker reach into his coat and pull out a blue plastic object. Then there was a deafening boom, and an intense white light.

"Flash bang!" Cris said.

"Ahh! I can't see a thing!" Ellis hollered.

When his blindness wore off Edward saw that Wesker had vanished.

"That Terminator look alike ran off!" Zoey said.

"What is the Terminator?" Marcus said waving his arms like a composer of a school band.

"You know what Dracula?" Ellis said. "Your arm gestures are startin to creep me out."

"Your accent frightens me," Marcus said. "And I have nothing to fear."

"What the hell is going on?!" Emmet roared.

"We.. don't know," Link said. "But, we are all in danger. It is time we put aside our differences and fight."

"Fight what?" Emmet demanded kicking Jacobs unconscious body.

Jacob had just begun staring to regain consciousness before Emmet's kick knocked him out again. He slumped to his side and begun sucking on his thumb.

"He must be having a wet dream," Edward said snickering.

Zoey thwopped him on the back of the head with the butt of her rifle. "You're just like your brother."

"Ohh, sorry you witch," Edward said rubbing the back of his head.

"Shut it shiny boy, you don't want another Witch to find us," Ellis said.

"Where did the zombies go?" Zoey said.

"I donno," Ellis aid, "but, I got a feeling they'll be back."

Zoey shivered keeping her rifle at the ready.

For three tense minutes everybody stood in silence scanning their surroundings. Zoey and Ellis flinched at the rustle of every leaf.

"When are we going to go e' fight Bowser?" Mario said breaking the silence.

"Shh!" Zoey hissed.

Oh Edward, I know you're reading my thoughts, so I know that I should do my best to censor them, Zoey thought.

"That's right Zoey," Edward said snickering, "You'd better keep ypur thoughts clean otherwise I may think ill of you."

"What was she thinking?" Emmet whispered into his brothers ear.

"All of you are a threat to our world!" Marcus said. "I am going to report all that happened to the rest of the Volturi!"

"No!" Edward and Emmet hissed. They began to chase after Marcus, but it was already too late. He was gone.

"Did you catch him?" Link said as Edward and Emmet came back from the trees.

They shook their heads.

"Don't worry," Link said.

Eward opened his mouth to say something before Link put up a hand.

"What I'm saying is that, I don't think it's.. them that we need to worry about," Link said.

"Then who?" Emmet said.

"I told you before, I don't know."

"Look up here you fools!" said a booming female voice from above.

Everyone looked up and gasped. Staring down at them was Stephanie Myers herself.

"My eyes are bleedin!" Ellis said.

"She looks like Michael Myers!" Zoey said curling up into a ball and sobbing. She rocked back and forth weeping.

"Just kill us now!" begged Emmet.

The very ground began to shake. The trees trembled from their roots. Their leaves shrilled and died. Birds fell from the sky, their feathers rumpled.

"No!" she said before vanishing.