Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

Edward and Jacob who had somehow followed them into Link's actual world blinked. Edward looked over at Emmet, "Man, you know that's just red ink . . ."

Emmet paused and then shrugged, "In the movie all we do is drink tomato juice anyway, thickened with syrup and a dash of red food dye."

Edward mused over it and then shrugged as well, "You have a point, go for it."

Emmet grinned and began sucking Misty dry. Jacob looked over to Link, "You know who you remind me of?"

Link raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

"Xandir from Drawn Together. . ." replied Jacob scratching his chin.

"Don't make me angry," Link said, "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." His pupils dialated, becoming a greenish tint.

"Whoa!" Jacob exclaimed.

"Yeah man, are you like the Hulk or something?" Emmet said freeing Mario from a Poke ball.

"What e' happened?" Mario said shaking his head. He hunched over and vomited.

"Disgusting!" Jacob said.

"That's how Bella threw up when she was..." Edward began.

"Dying?" Link filled in gleefully.

Emmet grinned, "I wish."

He wiped the red ink from his mouth, "So, how about he get to this Zant guy and show him who's boss?"

Link frowned, "Well, tehcnically he IS a boss . . ."

Edward rolled his eyes, "Manner of speech, Link."

Jacob growled, "I smell something weird."

"I smell a wet dog," Edward hissed.

"And I smell a stupid little boy who has been seventeen for over a hundred years," Jacob said.

"Wow, easy Jacob," Emmet said, "You don't want to piss little Rob off."

"I think e' he do," Mario said.

"Mario!" Jacob said as he had just barely noticed him standing there. "What is up man!" Jacob said raising a hand to Mario.

"What does that mean?" Mario said staring at Jacobs open palm.

"It's a high five duded."

"Oh," Mario said slapping Jacobs palm.

Jacob flew ten feet back at the force of Mario's palm thrust.

"Cool," Eward said as Jacob diapered in a thorny bush.

For another Twilight parody see...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oosQPmSpxU

Don't let this die.

"Where are we?" Asked Edward

The gang looked around the empty white room

Emett replied, "This must be what writers block is."

Mario responded, "What's writers block? Do mushrooms come out when I hit it?"

Emett explained, "Writers block is when a writer is trying to come up with inspiration, but his ideas are blocked by an imaginary wall he calls his writers block."

"How do we get out?" Asked Jacob.

"Watch this," said Emett.

All of the sudden they were in Zant's lair, equipped with laser swords, rocket slingshots, rubber band guns, and robot pirate costumes.

"What just happened!? Why are we dressed like this!?" Exclaimed Edward.

"The writer hits a crucial point where it just falls apart, but it's interesting to see what happens next."

Suddenly a shining streak of orange light soared toward them. Edward flopped sideways crashing to the ground. A flaming sword had pierced his chest over his heart.

Emmet cussed as his brothers body was consumed in flame.

"It's Zant!" Link said pulling out a bomb. He lit it as Zant's thundering footsteps approached.

Emmet and Mario balled up their fists. Jacob shifted into his wolf form, barring his teeth.

Link held the bomb in his hand, and the fuse slowly shrank.

"Mama Mia, Link! You going to blow us up!" Mario said.

"No," Link said hurling the bomb at Zant's imposing figure. A fiery flower bloomed around Zant as the bomb went off in front of his face.

The boom was deafening, Mario, Link, and Emmet covered their ears.

Jacob howled in pain.

When the smoke cleared Emmet was shocked to see that there wasn't a scratch on Zant's armor.

Everybody pointed their laser swords, rocket slingshots, and other guns at Zant who was no doubt very ticked off.

Suddenly Edward yanked the sword out of his chest and his skin rapidly healed. "Wow, that was a new sensation," he said.

"WHOOOO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER!?" Howled Zant.

"We do," cried the team.

"HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MY BEAUTY SLEEP, LOOK AT MY FACE, UNDOUBTEDLY YOU FEEL SORRY FOR THE WRATH YOU ARE UNLEASHING."

"Holy sh*t, that's uglier than Bella," cried Emett.

"Hey!" Said Edward.

"WHO IS BELLA, I KNOW OF ONLY ZELDA, MY CAPTIVE."

"See? I'm not the only one who hasn't read the book," said Edward proudly.

"OHHH BELLA FROM TWILIGHT!!!!"

"God damnit..." Said Edward, who was now ticked off

"Prepare to meet your doom Zant!" Shouted link, as he charged.

Nobody else moved, they were too afraid.

"HEHYAH!" Link said spinning in circles and flailing his chain hook around.

"AGHH!" Zant said stumbling back from the blows. The very ground seemed to tremble under his armored feet.

"Here we go!" Mario said dashing toward the still stumbling Zant.

Emmet and Edward charged forward to.

Jacob stayed behind whimpering like a puppy.

Mario slid down on his side like a baseball player sliding fro home plate. The impact that his sliding kick had on Zant was so great that his body went sailing into the air. Zant grunted as his back hit a wall. A large crack indented in it.

In a blur Edward and Emmet were in front of Zant who was barely getting up.

"Take this you ugly-" Emmet and Edward began to say before they were sent flying back by a viscous arm swing swing. Their hard bodies made cracks in the marble floor.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK ANY OF YOU HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO DEFEAT ME?!" Zant roared.

Jacob trembled and continued to whine his puppy noises.

It was five years ago since that day...

"Wait why are we suddenly in this field together standing over Jacob's grave!?" Asked Edward, surprised.

"The narrator said it, so it is so," said Link, mournfully.

"NO TAKE US BACK I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" Shouted Edward.

And so it was back on that terrible day we found our heroes.

They all charged, weapons in hand at Zant. Try as he did, he couldn't block off all the blows and felt himself stepping back closer and closer to the edge hanging over the pit of despair. All of the sudden Jacob turned into a wolf... And started to lick himself. Link swung with one final slash at Zant, and Zant stumbled back over the edge, and into the endless pit where he would find himself at a free-fall for all eternity.

"Hey guys wanna dig a fake grave for Jacob and come back to it 5 years from now and act all sad?" Asked Mario.

"Sure!" They all responded, including Jacob.

"What I don't understand is.." Jacob began, "is why in the hell would you pull off some stupid sh%@t like that." Jacob pointed to the headstone.

Edward shrugged, "Well sometimes I wish your bones really were six feet under. He half smiled.

"Oh shut up Count Chocula," Jacob said sneering.

"Don't talk to my brother that way Courage the Cowardly Dog," Emmet hissed.

"Look who's talking it's the big fat bear," Jacob jeered.

Emmet balled his fists and began to walk toward Jacob.

"Whoa! Easy guys!" Mario said. "I am sorry I ever agreed to this stupid charade," he said nodding to the grave.

The tombstone read: HERE LIES JACOB. THE MOST DISGUSTING FAMILY PET WE HAVE EVER HAD.
HE USED TO LICK HIMSELF EVERYDAY. FOR HOURS ON END.
SOMETIMES WE FELT LIKE PUTTING HIM TO SLEEP.
FOREVER OF COURSE THAT WAS AGREED.
JACOB/DOG WE DON"T MISS YOU.
YOUR OWNERS SAY TO YOU:
GO STRAIGHT TO HELL.
AND PLEASE DO
BURN

"It's inspirational," said Mario.

"It makes me want to go get all seven chaos emeralds for the hundreth time!" Said Sonic, who had just ran in.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Shouted Jacob, "We don't have room for more characters! The story will just keep progressing faster than it can be followed!"

Suddenly Sonic exploded in a poof of blue fur, blood, and innards.

Everyone looked in shock at Link who held a smoking rocket sling shot.

"You e' killed the blue hedgehog!" Mario screamed. His face was coated in Sonic's blood.

Emmet spit out pieces of blue fur.

"What? He's not really dead. He always comes back to life," Link said staring at the mess that was Sonic. "Right?"

Edward shrugged.

Sonic popped out of thin air, alive.

Emmet hissed at Jacob, "If you have something to say about to many characters we already have a COFFIN for you."

Jacob whimpered and hid behind Sonic, "Save me!"

Edward rolled his eyes, "What brings you here, Sonic?"

"I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

"Oh."

Link stared at the new game character, "There's only room for one game character here."

Mario jumped onto Link and squashed him into the floor, "What about me?"

Link pushed Mario and and revised his statement, "There is only room for two game characters here. Scram."

Mario and Link shared a high five.