Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

Has anybody ever wished that the Twilight saga ended differently? At least for Bella... well me and Light_Devil! just came up with a deliciously evil idea for a storybook (free for all! No commitment required. Drop in and drop out as you please). What if Edward had ditched Bella and he and his family, and even some of the werewolf guys went off on a vacation? Fans you can join too. It will be very interesting if you do.

I'll let Light_Devil! explain what happened to Bella. Anyway, just choose any character from the Twilight universe, the immortal ones that is. The humans are out. But I guess you aren't just limited to Edward and his family, or the wolf pack, there are more vampires. Maybe you can even be the Volturi, there can always be conflict in a story right? You can also be other famous fantasy characters that are a lot more interesting then any of the characters available within the Twilight Zone. (That's a TV show) So make your choose your character. You can also choose random characters from whatever: video games, comic books, Political figures both living and dead, your character from another storybook, a random person, or whatever else I left out.

There's no need for a lengthy character description or whatever as the characters are already made. We will get started once everything is settled. Note: This is not an rpg, those tend to get very, very unorganized. Though, the fact that this is a drop in and drop out whenever you want kind of thing it will be unorganized regardless.

If you simply must get violent, go ahead, but make sure that there is a reason and a build up to the conflict. Or if you come up with a randomly cool idea that's perfectly OK. This story isn't meant to make much sense anyway. And please no unnecessary language, or sex. You bloody perverts, hehe, it's just not in any way relevant to this story.

The most important thing is... go crazy, but stay within the gray zone. Don't go into the black zone of vulgarity. Thank you.

The Start Of It All (Half by me -- half by Adrian)

Bella. She was in a room filled with life-like robot Edwards, with his exact characteristics and personality, and was going insane.

"I love this so much, Edwards everywhere, but... where is my Edward?"

Edward: On an island paradise. He and Emmet are hunting sharks.

"So you finally ditched that ugly girl? What kind of name is Isabella anyway?" Emmet said as the ocean waves sloshed around them.

Edward laughed. "I don't know, but why did she think she could complain about our names being strange?"

Emmet laughed and said, "Look its Jaws!" as a shark fin appeared on the surface.

"Oh, I love that movie! Stephen Spielberg is the best. I only wish Bella had great taste in movies," Edward said as Emmet swam toward the shark.

--

Emmet continues with, "Oh, get over it. I'm sure you'll meet someone new who has good movie taste."

Edward sighs, "I wish."

Just then suddenly Jacob Black runs up with a grin, "Hey, did someone say they liked Jaws? I love Stephen Spielberg."

--

"I like you more everyday Wolfman," Edward said.

"And I'm starting to not hate you less Count Chocula," Jacob said.

Edward stared at him blankly.

"Oh that's right cereal tastes like dirt and urine to you," Jacob said. "Shame, shame."

"You know what though Jacob?" Edward said.

"I think so, but go ahead."

"The actor playing Emmet in the Twilight movie ate a Rice Crispy treat," Edward said gesturing to Emmet who was dragging a great white shark onto the beach.

"Yeah, well you know Hollywood doesn't give a care about research."

"True," Edward said.

"I guess there won't be a Jaws 5," Emmet said throwing the shark next to his giant squid, which was on the left side of a dead sea lion.

--

Edward nods, "Plus, I don't think any Jaws not made Stephen Spielberg will ever be a true Jaws movie."

Jacob nods his agreement, "Say, have you actually read the book we're in?"

Edward's eyes widen and he thinks, "I can't say I have."

Jacob grins, "Well, that proves one thing."

"What?" Edward asks turning to face him, his eyes glowing golden.

"You're not a retarded teenage girl."

"Well, I could've told you that," Edward frowns.

"After reading what you did in the book, I'm not sure I would believe you even if you told me," Jacob replies.

"Wait, you read the book?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't that make you a "retarded teenage girl"?" Edward asks with pleasure.

Jacob stays silent, then grins, and suddenly transforms into Bella.

Stephenie Meyer shouts from the heavens, "SUPRISE TWIST!"

Emmet, who was busy playing with the shark, looks up at the sky and comments, "Oh, Steph, we ALL knew that was going to happen. Exactly like the rest of your books."

Edward shoots an alarming look at Emmet trying to shake Bella off his arm, "You've read the book as well?"

Emmet grins, "Oh, dear it looks like I've been found out."

In a poof of smoke Emmet reveals that he is actually Bella. Just at the exact time that the Jacob/Bella swooped in for a kiss, but Jacob/Bella was turning back into Jacob. That means . . . dun, dun, dun, JACOB kissed EDWARD!

Stephenie Meyers screams from the heavens, "LOOK, I've even given you FAN-service! Isn't that enough to make it better?"

Jacob has a heart attack, as does Bella - who in fact transforms back in Emmet. He shakes his head, "Hey, what just happened?"

Edward is stunned.

And so the adventure begins . . .

Edward glared up at the gray sky, where the voice of an author with one of the worst writing styles ever forced upon a keyboard boomed like the winds of a hurricane. The waves of the sea swelled as if there were a giant sea monster surfacing from the abyss.

And in the middle of the oceanic mystery appeared Jasper.

He looked around, his eyes wide, and titled his head, "I thought I smelled Bella for a second."

Edward look slightly embarrassed, "Okay, I farted, ok? No need to crack jokes about my ex."

Jasper was not amused and proved it. Edward suddenly began to feel gloomy, and knew why. He glared at his brother who was wading through the shallow water, toward the shore.

Why does he always have to change my mood? Doesn't he relaise that I'm tired over feeling depressed? I had enough of that while keeping that Bella girl from hurting herself.

Jasper looked at him, "I swear I can still smell her . . ."

Edward looked at Jacob who was at his feet and the gloom increased. He just realised he had been kissed by a male. Edward dry-retched and staggered away before falling to his knees in the sand.

He looked into the sky and, holding his hands out with palms up, screamed, "Why?! WHY!!?!?"

A voice replied, "Oh, suck it up. Do you want to make me have him kiss you again?"

Edward became instantly quiet. Jasper finally reached the shore, and checked Jacob's pulse, "Did you kiss Jacob?"

Edward'e eyes widened in anger, "NO! I didn't, what makes you say that?"

Jasper forced Edward into embarassment, "Look, you're blushing!"

Edward turned around and walked towards Emmet who was talking to himself, "Hey, what are you doing, Emmet?"

----------

Suddenly Rosalie thrust herself out of the bushes, her blonde hair catching the light. The others didn't look up to meet her eyes.

"WHAT?! Just because that mormon thinks she can make me look like a skank and only give a brief story does not mean you can ignore me!" The others still did not notice her raging presence, to them she was just a breeze, like a ghost. A very raging , bitching ghost.

Suddenly flames shot up behind her knocking her to the ground.

"Are we late?!" Aro cried, "We brought salsa! and if you couldnt tell by the flames it's a bit hot!"

"Yo, Marcus. See you're still with the suckers."

"..."

"Wanna grab a beer? It's in the cooler, you know, where the slutty vampires are hanging out."

"..."

"Hey, this music's awesome. I'd dance, but I know what I can't do."

"..."

"You don't talk much, do you?" Leah Clearwater said, knocking back a beer. She caught sight of what her brother was up to. "Seth! What have I told you about peeing on Jake's motorbike?"

She shook her head. Why was he such a dork? It was amazing, how stupid he could be. She stared up at the sky, and imagined throwing that annoying girl, dork of dorks, Bella into the sun. It was a cheery thought, nearly as brilliant as seeing Jacob kiss Edward.

"Do you think that they have cable at the beach house?"

Edward was reading leah's thoughts.


[i]I like green eggs and ham. Oh yes I do.

Just as I thought the alcohol makes her very confused. Does she not know that Native Americans lack a certain enzyme to dilute alcohol? One beer can make them drunk. [/i]

Edward shakes his head.

Seth runs up to him snickering.

I just peed on Jacob's bike.

"Good one," Edward replied after hearing Seth's thoughts.

But I sure wish I could have peed on Bella's favorite book. Hm, what was that trash called?" Seth said.

"Do you honestly think I paid attention to that girl?"

Guess not, I know I wouldn't. Seth answered in his thoughts. Say Edward, is it me or is Leah sort of confused?

"Who brought those drinks anyway?"

"I'm not sure, but I wouldn't drink them. I learned at the reservation that that stuff is really bad for Native American people like me," Seth said staring after Leah, who was poking the shark that Emmet killed with a stick.

"Hey little fishie," Leah said, "Tickle, tickle, tickle."

Well I better go hide all those drinks we don't need any of my fellow pack members to drink any of that. Can you imagine a drunk werewolf?

"Actually, I can. I could realistically see Jacob shifting into his wolf form and howling at the sun thinking it's the moon."

That sounds prejudiced.

"Sorry, I was describing Jacob as being of an isolated species of shape shifter."

Gotcha.

The ocean waves rose onto the shore and then creeped back. Edward listened to the soothing rhythms. He finally knew what true peace was. Bella hadn't know that he could actually hear everything she thought. And it disgusted him just thinking of all the things that she had wanted to do with him. She was a dirty female dog.

(It's only me AspiringAuthorA..M. also known as Adrian, I am not a new member)

Link looked around confused. Did he transport into the wrong realm?

Wow this isn't how I expected the Twilight Realm to look like. I'm not even in my wolf form, but those guys are.

The werewolves peered at Link.

"What? Have you never seen a guy wearing panty hoes before?

The wolfs continued to look at him.

Link raised his bow and arrow.

What the hell? thought Jacob, as he stared at one of his favorite video game characters.

Suddenly a thought swept through Seth's head. I have freakin school to go to right now. He runs off on all fours, faster than the wind.

Link continued to point his crossbow at the wolves. A reddish brown wolf appeared to be kind of retarded and eyed the crossbow like a chew toy.

Emmet looked at Leah and Rosalie in pain, "I've gone to hell . . ."

He looked over to Link who was aiming at the werewolves, and the grinned, "Hey, Link, Link, sup?"

Link looked away from the wolves for a second and in that moment the reddish brown one dashed forward and stole his crossbow.

When Link looked back the wolf was chewing on it, like a chew toy. Link sighed, "What do you want, Emmet?"

"I was just wondering what you are doing in the Twilight Realm," Emmet said.

"This is the Twilight Realm?" Link said.

"Yeah, except it's different from the one in your latest video game," Emmet said.

"Great game I might add. Wish Bella like it," Edward said.

Link raised an eyebrow, "You mean Bella, like the chick in Twilight?"

Edward frowned, "Yes . . ."

Link burst out into laughter, "SHE WAS SO LAME!! AHAHA!"

Edward grinned, "I know what you mean."

"How? Have you read it?" Link asked while wiping away tears of laughter.