Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

"No," Edward said.

Suddenly the red wolf shifted into Jacob. "That's a lie! You know you have!"

Emmet punched his brother on the shoulder.

Edward flinched.

"Wow, Emmet, you pack quite a punch," Link said.

"Thanks bro," Emmet said.

"Why don't you teleport with me back to Hyrule so you can help me kill Zant?" Link said picking up his cross bow, which was dripping saliva.

Emmet shrugged, "Sure, why not. It's hell here anyway."

"Nice," Link replied and continued, "Put your arm on my shoulder and we can go."

"Sure thing." Emmet obeyed and with a flash of light they were gone.

Edward blinked, "Hey, wait . . . don't tell me I'm alone with the wolves and crazy girls!?!"

Jacob grinned wolfishly, "Damn right, Count Chocola."

Edward flashed an obscene gesture at his brother as he and the gay looking man disappeared.

Do you do that to yourself? He heard Link say in his head.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD HATE THIS


That was so clever you guys, lmfao

Emmet's surroundings were spinning uncontrollably.

"Whoa, easy man," Link said. "Do you vampires vomit?"

"I don't know," Emmet said grabbing a hold of his head. Gradually his head began to lose the numbness and his environment came into focus. He saw a little limbless green creature wobble toward him. "You little green blob!" Emmet said before rushing toward it and lifting it off the ground.

The green mass squirmed in his grip. Emmet grunted and threw the thing over the trees, and out of of sight.

"That was impressive, it usually takes about three sword strokes for me to kill those things," Link said taking out his Master sword.

-Mario walks in-
Mario: Oh shitsame I must have taken' a da wrong pipe to da mushroom kingdom. Now I'm here with a da gay vampiresa

"Shitsame" is supposed to be read Shits-a-me, like it's a me, but lol... different

"Man, what the hell?" Emmet said.

"Mario?" Link said.

The plump plummer in the blue overalls looked at Emmet and Link. "Yes, it's a me Mario!" he said.

"I know who you are man," Emmet said. "You're a legend in the gaming world."

Link glowered and punched Emmet in the stomach. "Watch your mouth my blood sucking friend."

Emmet doubled over, gripping his stomach. "How are you able to hit me and not break your arm?!" Emmet said through gritted teeth.

"How do you think I have manged to kill all the giant bosses that I have?" Link said popping his knuckles.

"Really? Well then can you e' help me beat Bowser?" Mario said.

"Actually, we can," Link said.

"We?" Mario said

"Yes, me and my green friend there were on our way to kill Zant," Emmet said.

"Yes, help us kill Zant and we will gladly help you take care of Bowser," Link said.

"Here we go!" Mario said as he launched himself twenty feet into the air.

"He may be crazy," Emmet said, "but you have to admit that was cool."

Link shrugged. "Show off," he muttered as Mario did three back flips, each of the jumps over fifteen feet high.

"Where are the mushrooms?" Mario asked

Link looked to his friend and shrugged.

"I need my shrooms man," said Mario. Mario glances at link and notices his fairy Navi. "Oh boy an invinicibility star!" Mario tries to eat Navi

"Sometimes I worry about you Mario," Emmet said shaking his head.

"Yeah, you're a real addict!" Link said sidestepping the crazed Italian.

"I need a 1UP!" Mario said.

"Where's the pipe to Zant's place?" Mario asked, looking around.

"We have to walk there," like replied.

"Why doesn't Emett fly us there?" Asked Mario.

"He can't turn into a bat, gosh, haven't you read Twilight?"

"Of course I have, who hasn't?"

Soon enough the ground shook, the entire island did matter of fact. Suddenly, you could make out the sounds of a- stampede?!

"How the hell did they find us?!?" Edward yelled.

"It's called the internet!" Jacob yelled over the on coming footsteps.

"What di freak iz a going on eh?" Mario commented.

Suddenly, Ash, Misty and Brock jumped out of the bushes.

"Never fear! We always win every time no matter how crappy our lives turn out!"

"Krabby!? Where!? I gotta catch em' all!" Ash shouted. He went on a rampage, throwing pokeballs at everyone, and caught mario.

"What the hell!" Emmet said as a small red and white ball plopped next to his feet. An intense white light erupted from it. Emmet gasped as an orange dragon materialized in front of him.

"Charizard!" Ash said, "Kill the sparkling kid!"

Before the dragon even moved a muscle Emmet jumped into the air, launching himself toward the dragons neck. The impact was so great that it's neck exploded in a red mist. The dragon's head flew into the bushes.

"Charizard!" Ash choked out as the dragons body slumped to the ground. He wiped away his tears and reached for another Poke ball.

"Put that down!" hissed Emmet.

"Shut the f-" Ash began to say before an arrow pierced his skull.

Link pointed his crossbow at Brock and Misty. "Anybody else?!"

"No, please don't!" Misty said. She and Brock raised their arms in surrender.

"Why are your eyes always closed?" Emmet said eying Brock.

"They're no-ot c-closed!" Brock stammered.

"So then why aren't they open?" Link said, pulling the string of his bow further back.

"Because someone has to resemble the Asian stereotype in our anime!" Brock stammered back, "And guess what? You just shot the main character peter pan!"

"Did Peter Pan want to shoot you in the skull?"

"Alright squinty, that's enough!" Link said firing the arrow.

Misty dropped face forward as the arrow cut through her neck. She squealed in pain as blood gushed out of her wound and mouth.

"Oops."

"Blood!" Emmet said rushing toward Misty. As Brock ran away screaming like a little girl Emmet picked up Misty and sank his teeth into her left shoulder.

"That is disgusting man," Link said turning away.