Reviews from a Marine (Re-opened)

Could you check out the redrafted version of my story? Here's a link to the first part of chapter one, but if you can, will you also check out the second (the one that says chapter one part two). The link:

topic58817.html

Thanks

Hello, please could you review my poem, it kinda an experiment for me so I would like some feedback on how to improve

topic59299.html

Thanks

Hey, Marine!

Mind doing my poem? topic59404.html

Amy, can you review my column about British Broadcasting (ITV in particular)?
topic59513.html
Thankies
Ben

Lol, sorry I didn't see that, Ben. I'll do it now. *face/palm*

Hey aqua. Here is the link to my story. It is actually the second chapter. You can read the first if you want, but i need some reviews on this one more. Thanks so much. Its an adventure/romance. Hope you enjoy it.

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic59751.html

Hey Marine, this is an except from my novel i'd recently edited. COuld you please take a look and see what you think? Thanks!

post670358.html

Hey amy! Coco here again, hope your well I've finally posted up chapter 10 for you to look at when your not busy. I'm kinda nervous to see what you make of it but fingers crossed you'll enjoy the chapter.
Thanks a million
*coco

Ullo Amy,

I've got another column up if you're interested?

viewtopic.php?t=60031

Do you want to review my prologue? ^^
It's fantasy fiction and only 500 words or so.

Here's the link: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic60030.html

Bubblegum, I hope you don't mind but I've left your prologue because you already have a load of review on it, and they've all pretty much caught everything. Sorry.

So, yeah, anyone want a review?

Could you review German Jew? Thank you in advance.

topic60255.html

I want you to review this: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic60214.html

Thanks : )

Oh, man, I'm sorry sorry these haven't been reviewed. I've been away for the past 10 days or so. Er, I don't don't if you still want me to review them, as it's been 12 days since you both requested?

Review first chapter of my novel?
viewtopic.php?t=60476

Thank you!