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Re: Drowning
Hello there silentRain :) I really like the concept of this poem, it's very creative. I loved the emotions and how colourful your descriptions were. However, some points in this ...
Dec 29, 2010 -
Re: Outcast
Hello there :) You're meant to accepting, I think you missed something in this line. Try revising it. Wow, I really loved this. I could really relate, you know. First ...
Dec 29, 2010 -
Re: Day after day
Hello there :) “I cooked Eliza and you some oatmeal for breakfast. Make the lunches and make sure Eliza takes her pill with her breakfast. Watch Eliza after school. Remind ...
Dec 29, 2010 -
Re: I am Death
Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) I really loved the way you handled the personification of death; the way you gave death a voice. First of all it was ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Spider Web
Hello there :) I just have one question; how is the poem related to the title? I'm sorry, I tried and tried to crack the code but I failed. Besides ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Newborn Feelings (LOVE POEM)
Hello there :) It is kind of hard to believe that this is your first poem ever because it is really good. It is very romantic. For your eyes and ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Been Gone.
Hello there :) As I was reading this, I could not help but picturing someone on stage performing a monologue for a school play. I found this a bot over ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Insomnia
Hello there bro, and welcome to YWS! :) I really loved this a lot. I liked how everything is just going in circles. I also commend you for saying a ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Look At Me
Hello there :) Now this is a really good poem, I liked it. You pretty much have a good hold over your words and you phrased some so beautifully. I’m ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Christmas Tree (EDIT)
Hello there :) You have got a really good control over your words. I just love the way you write. It's so descriptive and the imagery is fantastic. I really ...
Dec 28, 2010 -
Re: Three
Hello there :) I think this would be better if you expanded it a bit more. It's a great concept, it just lacks detail because you crammed everything into one ...
Dec 27, 2010 -
Re: the days
Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) hmm, a poem that makes me think...After reading this, I had my own interpretation. I thought this poem was saying that there are ...
Dec 27, 2010 -
Re: Seizing the Day
Hello there 'socks' :) I really liked this story. I also really liked your writing style and the suspense you kept going until the end. This was a very sad ...
Dec 27, 2010 -
Re: Mr. Darcy
Hello there :) First of all Oh what are men to rocks and mountains? Oh what you are to me! I really loved these two lines. So romantic! Anyway, I ...
Dec 27, 2010 -
Re: Death is Warm
Hello there :) This was a very interesting plot. I felt however that you did a lot of telling and very little showing. In this type of story where the ...
Dec 27, 2010
