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ziggiefred

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Drowning

    Hello there silentRain :) I really like the concept of this poem, it's very creative. I loved the emotions and how colourful your descriptions were. However, some points in this ...

    Dec 29, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Outcast

    Hello there :) You're meant to accepting, I think you missed something in this line. Try revising it. Wow, I really loved this. I could really relate, you know. First ...

    Dec 29, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Day after day

    Hello there :) “I cooked Eliza and you some oatmeal for breakfast. Make the lunches and make sure Eliza takes her pill with her breakfast. Watch Eliza after school. Remind ...

    Dec 29, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I am Death

    Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) I really loved the way you handled the personification of death; the way you gave death a voice. First of all it was ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Spider Web

    Hello there :) I just have one question; how is the poem related to the title? I'm sorry, I tried and tried to crack the code but I failed. Besides ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Newborn Feelings (LOVE POEM)

    Hello there :) It is kind of hard to believe that this is your first poem ever because it is really good. It is very romantic. For your eyes and ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Been Gone.

    Hello there :) As I was reading this, I could not help but picturing someone on stage performing a monologue for a school play. I found this a bot over ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Insomnia

    Hello there bro, and welcome to YWS! :) I really loved this a lot. I liked how everything is just going in circles. I also commend you for saying a ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Look At Me

    Hello there :) Now this is a really good poem, I liked it. You pretty much have a good hold over your words and you phrased some so beautifully. I’m ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Christmas Tree (EDIT)

    Hello there :) You have got a really good control over your words. I just love the way you write. It's so descriptive and the imagery is fantastic. I really ...

    Dec 28, 2010
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Three

    Hello there :) I think this would be better if you expanded it a bit more. It's a great concept, it just lacks detail because you crammed everything into one ...

    Dec 27, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: the days

    Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) hmm, a poem that makes me think...After reading this, I had my own interpretation. I thought this poem was saying that there are ...

    Dec 27, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Seizing the Day

    Hello there 'socks' :) I really liked this story. I also really liked your writing style and the suspense you kept going until the end. This was a very sad ...

    Dec 27, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Mr. Darcy

    Hello there :) First of all Oh what are men to rocks and mountains? Oh what you are to me! I really loved these two lines. So romantic! Anyway, I ...

    Dec 27, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Death is Warm

    Hello there :) This was a very interesting plot. I felt however that you did a lot of telling and very little showing. In this type of story where the ...

    Dec 27, 2010


“Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number. Shake your chains to earth like dew Which in sleep had fallen on you— Ye are many—they are few.”
— Mary Shelly