Seizing the Day

Seizing the Day

Flash Fiction

Carson laughed. She always laughed at my jokes and my stories, even if they weren’t funny. I loved that about her.

“No shit!” She said, still giggling. Small tears were beading out from her eyes in laughter.

“Nope, totally legit. Only the handle; the rest of the luggage was nowhere near,” I said.

She wiped her eyes and leaned her head on my shoulder. Her long brown hair felt soft against my cheek. I smiled. This was a perfect moment: just sitting on a park bench with Carson, the love of my ninth-grade life. I'd finally found someone who didn't think I was a freak. Someone who gave me a chance.

A man walking a dog walked by us. A large black Labrador tugged on the leash. It reminded me of Colby. Colby . . . who I’d left at home . . . because Carson was allergic . . .

I had to stop thinking about him. Nothing was going to go wrong. Brook had been too concerned. I could go an hour or so without any problems. I had my special glasses, and I'd taken my ginseng pills, so I was set.

Carson looked up at me and snuggled closer. “You’re a really good guy, John.” She said. “I’m so glad to be here with you. Thanks for asking me out."

"Thanks even more for saying 'yes,'" I said, kissing her on the top of the head. She giggled, and I felt my butterflies flutter up in my stomach. In a good way though. Nothing could possibly ruin this moment. Sitting in the park, with Carson, the sun shining down on us, birds flying by overhead ever minute or so, there was nothing better I could imagine.

Bark! Bark! Bark!

I heard the loud barking behind me, and I instantly recognized Colby. Dammit, little Brook must have come looking for me. I was about to get up, walk over, and tell my little brother to leave, but in a moment, I froze in my seat, the warmth in my stomach condensing into a cold rock. My left hand had started shaking against Carson’s shoulder.

No, no, no, no, no! Why now? Of all times in the world, why now?

Carson laughed. “Aw, are you feeling nervous?” She asked, feeling the vibration of my fingers. Her body felt warm against me, like I was wrapped in a soft wool blanket. "That's cute," she said.

The headache started in. “N-no. I’m fine,” I said. I prayed that I could fight this one off."Everything's okay." All of my fingers were shaking now.

Carson looked at me. “You know, you’re always wearing those glasses. I never get to see your eyes,” she said, leaning closer. I wished I could see her face without darkened lenses in front of me, but not now. Now was not the time.

No, no, no, please! Don’t take my glasses off!

Carson, with a delicate touch, slid the darkened glasses off of my face. Even through my dread, she was absolutely beautiful. He face was perfect, her nose wrinkling up in the adorable way it did when she laughed. It would have been and amazing moment, save for the shaking that now controlled my other hand as well. All the while, Colby was barking one every few seconds in the background.

“You have such pretty eyes,” she said. She leaned closer; I think she wanted me to kiss her. Between the knot forming in my stomach, the pounding in my head, and the growing vibrations in my arms, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

The sun was so bright . . . it burned into my eyes, and made me shake even more. The tremors spread up my arms and shook my shoulders. It was too much, it was coming on. I pulled my arm off of her. “Carson, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for this.” I said.

She gave me a frown. Not angry, just confused. “For what?” She asked, tilting her head to one side.

Colby was barking repeatedly now, and I had to listen to him. I hopped up, shaking all over, and ran to the open field of grass near the park gate. Carson was following me, but stopped once I laid down on the ground and it began. Colby was sitting nearby, barking at everyone who passed. My loyal guardian . . .

"What? What's going on?" Carson called to me. I could see her making a move to advance, but Colby stepped in front and growled at her, blocking her way. Carson stepped back, biting her lip in distress. I'd never told her why Colby went everywhere with me. She had had no idea I had a problem like this.

Carson was long gone by the time my seizure was over. I didn’t get up, just stayed there and cried into the brown grass. I’d managed to royally fuck up a relationship with the most perfect girl in my school, all because of my seizure problem. Great, just great.

Colby and Brook, my younger brother who was two feet shorter than me and three years younger, came up to offer their condolences. I hugged them both. I had no idea what Carson would say to me at school tomorrow, or if she would call or text, or if she would say anything at all. All I knew was that I had my brother and my seizure dog. And they would always care about me.