yoha_ahoy

I like it! Usually first poems are less than fantastic, but this was cute. Rhyming is difficult to carry off successfully, but I think this poem was kept short, cute ...

Ah, the drama of a love poem. Your style reminds me of my own poetry from a few years ago. It’s good, and sounds pretty, but a bit over dramatic. ...

This just might be my style preference, but I feel like this is too blocky, and needs to be broken up into more lines. “In the beginning, formed in wind ...

Under the bitter red and black tree -- The rhythm on this line is awkward in the stanza. Perhaps “red-black tree” still gets it across while keeping it more in ...

"Just you, us and he." - Suuuper awkward line. Change us to them, or say "Just you, him and them." Just something else, because that line is wrenching. "Cram crumpets ...

First, capitalize your title correctly, "A Poem for the Legends." Second, I would give each segment after a comma it's own line. For example: "Actors come and actors go, but ...

First, I think this is wonderful. Though I have to say the first stanza is my least favorite. The image of cancer and the arm chair does not work for ...

Very good flow, and very interesting ideas behind each one. I may not agree with all of them, but as you said, abstracts always change, so I can't really criticize ...

Roy owned the only drive-thru funeral business in Maine. It was a hand-me-down business, to be honest, but pet-cemetery-to-people-cemetery seemed like an executive decision. Roy was an executive, so h

It is quite choppy and it doesn't make much sense right now. The language sounds pretty and you have the seed of a nice idea as far as content, but ...

I fell so hard for you I've tried so hard to make you like me To make you laugh To make you want me Very cliche opening lines. I've tried ...

Great idea for content here. Though I must say the repetition of "Chalk to the Sidewalk" at every other line is extrememly annoying. It takes the reader's focus of the ...

Awww! It was very playful. Kind of cute and innocent in that way. Though very sincere as well. I thouroughly enjoyed it. The feelings were very well expressed, and I ...

Not bad at all for your first poem! I like it quite a bit actually. I just don't understand the ending at all. Make that a little more clear and ...

"Her chest heaves with pent-up tears and her eyes remain dry." I hate the phrase "her chest heaves" just because it's used so much to describe crappy romance novels. I ...