Young Writers Society

Wow. This poem is fantastic. The rhyme scheme is good, though a little odd in some places, and the message is great. I love the way you grouped the two different nouns together. They weren't always related, but somehow they seemed to correspond. Your examples are very outside-the-box, and therefore very original. The only thing I have to critique is this line: "stating: you’ve got to improve." Having the colon there, and nowhere else, unbalances this stanza. Could you get rid of it somehow? If so, this is perfect. Gold star!

This is really interesting. You have great ideas! Once I had to write a descriptive paper about cowardice. It's really hard to think up good metaphors, but I like it. You do a good job with it!

I have to agree with yoyo about the rhythm and some of your rhymes. I think this would sound better if it were an unrhyming poem. That might just be me though, I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poetry. I think you would just be free to express your ideas more naturally if you didn't have to worry about the rhyme.

Curiousity

is the daredevil

who wishes he had nine lives.

Potential

is only a coward

who’s afraid to work, afraid to strive.

Very good flow, and very interesting ideas behind each one. I may not agree with all of them, but as you said, abstracts always change, so I can't really criticize you for that. I think your rhyme is a little forced in some places. Like in Love with the messenger shot in the chest, I didn't get that, it seemed like you just put that to rhyme with best. Otherwise, very interesting. I liked the words you picked to define. Nice!

~Yoyo