whatevr

Hey Lolo. The one thing, other than what Ethser pointed out, is that there are some uncapitalised I's. Your writing was beautiful and fluent, but those pesky little I's always ...

WOW. This is so amazing. The idea was good but it seems t might be in the wrong place... Is this supposed to be about love or something completely different. ...

Biffle here to review. I really like this piece, you personal voice in it is really authentic sounding. Kudos for the idea, I would have never come up with something ...

Biffle here to rerview. this is short so there isnt much to say but only two things that dont really work for me :) (1)I was still sat silently on ...

Hey there. The only thing about this that bugs me is the size of each line. They grow really large, then become les than five words. But I love this ...

I really like this, but there isn't much to review, as this piece contains mainly speech. So ill just do one of my signature 'unhelpful' reviews where i tell you ...

Biffle here to review!!!! “Hey babe, what you doing here all alone?” he reached to touch my face but I stepped back so he was nowhere near me. Wasn't she ...

" Oh, god mom,” Tracy turned to look at their mother, “the police are going after Mr. Tyson.” I just added the speech mark you missed. Other than that, this ...

Hey Jace, you did a review on my story, so i guess I should return the favour :) This was awesome. I, having no poetic knowledge, am wondering if this ...

Hi, Biffle here to review. I really like this story (and thanks for putting me in there xD) But there are some litlle bits where it swaps tense. As a ...

Hey Smexay. Mary (Seth’s mum) Use commas, it flows better. I lifted my knees to my chest and propped my chin of them and I did the one thing I ...

This is annoying. Im sorry, but all the sounds and stuff just bug me. I know your character is noticing things, but... Yeah, it just doesnt work for me. I ...

It was that moment I noticed the words on each of the persons' backs. Across each black leather coat had the death-filled letters, A-S-S-A-S-S-I-N-S. I think that is a tad ...

In some places there are info dumps. Try to describe necessary things like the girls emotions, not just the blatant actions. Also, like me, you need to show us what ...

Hey Pen. This was very good. But there's just one thing that doesnt quite work for me... The part where you say snowdrops. Snowflakes would sound a bit better, but ...