torreygrace

This is really good! I loved the rhythm and meter of it. In the lines "Bodies swaying – gentle brushes, halting touches; A lingering glance, movements in a trance… Melodies ...

This was beautiful. I love how you had both Heaven and Hell come, showing both sides of her. That was a very interesting part. There are only a few small ...

This was really good! I think you might want to work a little bit on your sentence structure to help it flow a bit better. A trick I found in ...

You must write more!!! I am dying to know what happens. I like that you kept the story kind of enshrouded in its own little mystery throughout the whole thing. ...

Wow. Haikus (I find) are incredible hard to do, and when they are done, they normally sound pointless and boring, but the life you brought into this one, the passion ...

Wow. You MADE that? At first, when I saw it, I though you had taken a picture of yourself (or someone else) and added a filter of some sort! The ...

This is really interesting. If you want to know, you are not alone in turning your dreams into books. I actually have kept a dream journal for that exact purpose. ...

That was really good! I have never seen anything like that before. I was pleasantly surprised on how much I liked it. I would think (if someone told of this ...

This brings a tear to my eye (and I don't ever cry over poems). It was beautifully written, and the rhyme and meter are spot on. That is very difficult ...

The only thing I can possibly correct on this is to make the sentences a bit less choppy, and to maybe use some stronger adjectives. Also you might want to ...

I wish I could write like this when I was 11! There isn't much that you need to fix on this. Just a couple of minor things that you will ...

What exactly do you mean by "Cheesed back gratefully" ? In the first four lines you made it rhymed (and those lines are some of my favorite because of that) ...

I think you could make this a really good poem or story! If you wanted to lengthen it, you would most likely want to expand on the character, and on ...

Wow! I am in love with this story! You did a superb job with the characters, and (I personally find this really hard to do) you did a great job ...

I like this a lot! You might want to make the sentences more even to help the rhythm, but otherwise, it is really good! I have never seen something like ...