The Cherry Tree

Hehehehe...

This is pretty humorous! Your line breaks are a bit off, but that's easily fixed (if you wanted to fix it, that is), and I think that it's just a great twist on the apocryphal story of George Washington and the cherry tree! It made me chuckle and smile, so well done!

I see no grammatical errors, and that makes it all the better. I can't wait to review your every word!

Hehehe...

Hey!

So.
At first I didn't see sense in the way you had cut up the sentences, but when I finished it, I didn't mind it so much, since there was a very subtle rythm to it, that I loved!

The poem was amazingly humorous! I enjoyed it a lot! I especially liked the rhyme in it.

I think there might have been a comma after 'inside' in the sentence -

"Shaking inside that, "I wanted it for my treehouse.""

-but I'm not sure.

I look forward to more from you!

Since I am from the Philippines, I didn't know this story. Now, I researched about this and compared. Your work is short, but it's humorous. I liked it. Even though I did not see your purpose in the way you cut the lines.

I like this a lot! You might want to make the sentences more even to help the rhythm, but otherwise, it is really good! I have never seen something like this, and it is a great idea. It would be cool if you did this for a whole bunch of American folk-lore. I like the modern-humorous take on this old story. Good job!

Hello, darling! Pardon me if I repeat anything that's been said already.

To begin, this is fairly humorous. I like it; I laughed a bit, since this is a newer look at an old American legend of sorts, exploring reasons for Washington's actions with a bit of a more modern twist.

As far as critique goes: Your line lengths and line breaks are weird. And I mean really weird. On my first read-through, I looked at this and wondered if the line breaks were where you wanted them to be or if someone had gone through and changed them all. I get maybe not wanting to break your lines at the rhyme because that would look "typical", but "typical" is better than "what even is this".

I'd also suggest not ending your lines with articles, conjunctions, prepositions, objectless verbs, etc.—basically every line break in this piece. They're distracting by the sheer virtue of the reader having to actually work to connect the lines ("Okay, the beginning of this line is "churchmouse", what was the end of the last one?"). If possible, especially in a rhyming poem where your line breaks are for the most part actually cut out for you (with wiggle room, of course), try not to confuse the reader too much. You want them to think about what you've written, not have to think their way through how you wrote it.

His father came the silly clown and
Asked who took the home of the old grouse

I like how you took the story of George Washington cutting the cherry tree, and made it into something funny (even though it was already a kind of funny story...) I really liked it, keep writing more like this!

Nice. That's a take on the story I've never heard before. He was going to make a tree house out of a cherry tree?

The poem itself is short and sweet. I can find the rhymes, but the ones toward the end don't flow very nicely. The lines "His father came the silly clown and asked who took the home of the old grouse" seems to have too many syllables in it compared to the rest of the poem. I might work better if you first rhymed with "clown." Just a thought.

Nice work! Interesting poem! Keep it up!