tgirly

There's a few spelling/grammatical errors, but not too many. I like the story. I might just be me, but I'm not sure if the shot is good or not. It ...

In the second paragraph, I'd italicize "Why?" to show that she's thinking it. You could also italicize the Who needed him? at the beginning of the third paragraph and anything ...

In the sixth paragraph it says: "Maybe at this moment. It's true." I think you should combine these two sentences because the second is only a sentence fragment and, even ...

I agree, this IS really good and blunt. My only prob. is that, I feel like there's something lacking from your last line. I think you should use a different ...

You say you're "on top of your class." That makes me think of a huge pile of kids and you sitting on top of them. I think what you really ...

I liked it! I think sometimes, we get caught up in not being cheesy, but your poem had ust the right amount of cheese (which isn't that much) to make ...

Just one thing. In the second paragraph, I suppose you mean "I THOUGHT you'd figure out that he" instead of though. Other than that, I didn't see any mistakes, beside ...

Wow I love this storry line so far. It kept my attention through the whole chapter. You should probablly look through it again to catch some spelling mistakes like; "blick" ...

I like it, but at first I wasn't show how to read it. But that it probably me just being stupid :P I really liked it, and knowing that you ...

I don't understand the first line of the second stanza. "He doesn't seems to step back To take a look back and reconsider To admire the beauty he is leaving ...

I like it, it's pretty good for a three-year-old. My only nitpick is that you spelled beasts wrong. You put "beats." Other than that, it's pretty good spelling and grammer. ...

I like it, it's funny and fun. There's just two things though. It says he layed in the snow, smelling dirt. Wouldn't he be smelling snow? And the second is ...

It's interesting, but I don't feel like the last paragraph goes with the rest. I like the last paragraph, though. I think you could probably work on making the last ...

I really like it, it's really sweet. I think, though, that in the first line, you should take out one of the "red"s because you have two of them. It's ...

LOL! I love it! It's funny and I like the two last stanzas the best, when you making fun of rap and then I like the line that says, "Whistle ...