I’m that kid in your class
that you know,
but not really.
You know my name,
you know my reputation,
but do you know me?
Do you know
that I ran after her
when she drove off for the last time?
Do you know
that my dad won’t accept
that she drove off for the last time?
Do you know
that I’m so damn confused
that I almost drove off for the last time?
Do you know?
Do you care?
Do you even know if you care?
You know my name,
you know my reputation,
but do you know this?
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Canary word: Present
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
Hey Sarahjane97,
I do agree with everyone else, we need more information. I felt like she was probably your mother. I liked the poem as whole. It was on the other side that im usually on. I go for the 'What are they like? What do they have to deal with?' point of view so this was refreshing.
I like how you say,
I wish you would add more though. Like what else do you do? Where else do you go? Are you just that kid in my class?
Thats all. Overall Congrats on a good poem!
PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!
-Boo
Hi there!
This is such a great poem. I really enjoyed reading it! It had great imagery and I could feel the passion in it. I like the overall idea of it and it's totally true. So many people don't know anything about you besides what you allow them to see. This poem flows very well and I didn't see any part where the flow falters. There aren't any spelling or grammer mistakes, so you're good there.
Good job! Keep writing!
Hm.. this was quite enjoyable.
Simple, had a lack of imagery though.. it was just, straight forward! But that's not always a bad thing ^^
The flow was great though and the structure of the stanzas was quite nice.
I do, like the previous reviewer, wonder who the "she" was too... The mother, a girlfriend.. sister? Confirm this please!
Overall though.. it was.. as I said, quite enjoyable!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
I enjoyed reading this, I think that it's very emotional, and as said before, raw. But I didn't get a clear idea of who "she" was and why she drove away. But overall, this is very good. I can't wait to see more of your work.
I agree, this IS really good and blunt. My only prob. is that, I feel like there's something lacking from your last line. I think you should use a different word other than "this." Maybe But do you know who I am? or something like that. You'll think of something better than that. I'd give this a five out of five, it's extremely awesome. Raw describes it perfectly. I can't wait to read more of your work
-tgirly
I like this. It's really blunt and honest and emotional and raw. The syllables are balanced and it isn't too lengthy or anything. I hope you keep writing. This is good.