tgirly

There are some slight grammatical poetic problems, like not capitalizing some beginning of lines, but capitalizing others. I couldn't really see a pattern with that, so you should probably go ...

I like it, it was inspiring. I feel like it really didn't have anything personal about it though, like it was just a list of the best quotes from a ...

Oooh! It's interesting. You should PM me when you've got more of it posted. It definitely peequed my interest. My only critique is that you do a lot of showing ...

It's pretty good, and I don't see any grammer mistakes. It definitely makes me want to read the next chapter. My only critic would be to break the first paragraph ...

I agree, I couldn't find the beat either, but I liked it a lot, and maybe you do have a melody for it. I also agree that it's a great ...

I think this is a great poem, and I really like it, but for some reason, I feel like the first two or three stanzas don't match the rest of ...

I like this poem. I like how she knows that it's silly teenage drama, but got caught up in it anyway. It makes it feel more real. The lines are ...

Breath should be breathe. tryed should be tried. You used the wrong "to." You could probably go into a little more detail about how crushed she was, about him and ...

Hi! I haven't read the other chapters, but I'm pretty sure you probably repeat yourself a lot in the first paragraph. Even if you don't, you do a lot of ...

I'm not sure if you intended it to rhyme or not. If you did intend for it to rhyme, you should go back and clean up your rhyming scheme. Also, ...

Okay, in the first paragraph, I think you mean welling, not welding. That would be kinda weird if the tears were welding in her eyes. "On bed" should be "On ...

The only prob. is paragraph four. I'm not sure who "he" is, and whose family it is. Another nitpick, is you say she's alone, but then suddenly her dad is ...

I like it. On to the nitpicking! In the first stanza, you say "Run forever, Until..." It seems if you ran forever, there would be no until. It's kinda contradicting. ...

Okay, I read the second chapter first and then this one, and I'm still confused. You're throwing way too many names and breeds at us. I have no idea who's ...

I haven't read the first chapter yet. It's a little confusing, but interesting. It should be "The barracks WERE a cold place" instead of was, right? There were a few ...