tgirly

Hey, Mess! I'm going to review this! While I normally find starting off a story with someone waking up and getting ready is a bit cliché, I think you avoid ...

"The time in between our encounters is not enough" This line is confusing, because it seems like he/she wants more time alone, which was not what I interpreted the rest ...

Hey Victorianbeauty! I'll start with first chapter nitpicks, first chapter general feel, and then tackle the second chapter in the same order. So without further ado: Details: "I had a ...

I actually really, really enjoy acrostic poems in general, I'm sort of an acrostic aficcionado. Sort of. I think it's an underutilized poetic framework, so I applaud you for writing ...

I love your word choice and writing style. Your story definitely has a lot of action and drama in it, but the very beginning isn't doing that justice. The guy ...

It's small, it's simple, it's deep, as haikus should be, but, maybe it's just me, but it doesn't feel complete. I would also consider making each line its own sentence ...

"a lots of trouble I used to do" should be just a lot or lots This is a really cute song with a nice message. It has a nice tune ...

This is a very emotional, very real poem and I like that. The poem could be more specific and have more detail around the middle, to help the reader connect ...

I might change the line "Rain is what helps the flowers grow" because it's a bit too similar to the les mis song 'Rain Will Make the Flowers Grow'. I ...

"The morning lessons are interesting." This sentence stopped me. Did you mean uninteresting, or were they really interesting? If they were interesting, if she really enjoyed them, I encourage you ...

You change through the poem from 'imagine if' to talking in the rest as if it's a definite thing, so I might consider changing the first line. I'm also not ...

That's actually quite beautiful. However, close to the beginning, it doesn't have as much flow and meter as a poem does. I might look at that a bit more. You've ...

I'm not sure 'sweet' is the best adjective to describe a car, I think you could find one that would work better (the other two are fine). "Maybe some would ...

Especially the first half of this poem didn't feel particularly poem-y. That sounds harsh, but what I mean is it sounds nice and it's got great meaning behind it and ...

I like the ending a lot; very dramatic. Good job with that. The two lines that aren't quite as clear as they could be are "and at the moment, nothing ...