telle_04

hey there! i love your poem. actually, there are some lines that confused me, and some lines that are out of rhythm (but i think you have good parallelism) but ...

hello jake. i don't have that talent for suggesting titles though, but i love this piece. you have a band or something? that would be good then. i can see ...

hello. i heart books too, you know. for me, this is a strong poem because it conveys your emotion perfectly well. i can feel your confusion, your sadness, your longing ...

hello. personally, i find that you don't have a certain topic in your poem, it jumps from one thought to another. maybe you have to stick to one idea, like ...

hello! i see you are quite a newbie, so welcome to YWS. :) i had the faint vision of what you are trying to point out in your poem. i ...

i always tend to write things like these: straightforward, on-the-spot, straight out from a scratch and into the keyboard..but i guess i've never been brave enough to write something so ...

In my mind, My world is perfect. Why can't life be like it is In my mind? hello, it's me again. as usual, i love your poems. in this one, ...

Have you realised that ten is our number? We were born with it in our hand But you can adopt it with your mystery. You see the fun…you see the ...

In the debts of darkness, one must find light in order to find ones true self. You can’t always get what you want but you must always get a little. ...

hello babygirl. :D this is beautiful. i can't think of anything to point out, because it is beautifully written. i hope you find a better name, but the masquerade is ...

hello. i heart books, too, you know. :D well, this is good. i can't find anything major to point out, except to observe your punctuation and correct some misspelled words, ...

hello. :D very simple, uplifting, straight to the point, i'm sure your friend liked this one. however, i would suggest you observe punctuation, because it will be better that way. ...

hello to the girl who loves her boys. :) wow, i think this is good, for someone quite young like you. *wow, you started a band. just got jealous.* anyway, ...

hello madameCK. :) personally, i love how you turned those wonderful things into things you hate about a person. i used to hear a song here, almost the same as ...

hello waterlilygirl. :) i like the simplicity of the words, the details..if you read it, it wouldn't sound too emotional in any way; it's like you're asking a question to ...