Runaway
I’m looking at you in my dreams
Don’t know how much time has been
Although it feels like forever…
And time doesn’t change
Just a little thing for you
So I’m sat here by your desk just staring at you
Chorus
I’ll runaway just to be with you
Until my days are black and blue
So don’t leave me in the darkness
Without me knowing
That you’ll be there with me
Because I’m a runaway
Verse 2:
I love the way you laugh a lot
And the way you look so happy
That’s all I want you to be
If only you could really see me
That way, I could truly be me
I've been cast away
I'll runaway just to be with you
until my days are black and blue
So don't leave me in the darkness with out me knowin
That you'll be here with me
Because I'm a runaway
Verse 3
I’ll always love you
But you don’t have to love me back
To realize how much you care to me
And how much I want to be with you
I'll runaway just to be with you
until my days are black and blue
So don't leave me in the darkness with out me knowin
That you'll be here with me
Because I'm a runaway
I'll runaway just to be with you
until my days are black and blue
So don't leave me in the darkness with out me knowin
That you'll be here with me
Because I'm a runaway
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my friend Jason wrote this. We just started a band and we really want you to review.
Thankyou
Georgie and Jason
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
It's.....interesting
Strong, with interesting lyrics.
Keep working on it.
hello to the girl who loves her boys.
wow, i think this is good, for someone quite young like you. *wow, you started a band. just got jealous.*
anyway, so you want a review, and i'll point out some things:
well, maybe you should change this one? i mean, try changing it to: So I'll sit here by your desk just staring at you
the first part of the chorus should be
because it seemed quite appropriate. 'runaway' is a noun; 'run away' is a verb.
there. i think i've pointed those out.
overall, it is a nice poem, although you have to watch over your formatting and punctuation. just some editing and it'll be good enough to sing.
i can't wait to hear it.
-telle.
Hello there. You look pretty new, so might I suggest that you get around to reviewing other members' writing. Doing so will not only get you more reviews in turn, but it will also get you the points you need to post more of your own writing.
As far as these lyrics go, all I can really say is that you have some misspelled words, some of the lines don't make sense, and the way you wrote these lyrics out is inconsistent. With the chorus, you started out with six lines, but when it is repeated a second time, suddenly the chorus only has five lines. Similarly, the first verse has six lines, but the second verse only has five. This may work with the music you have planned, but just reading through, it's visually confusing and disrupts the flow of this.
Another thing that makes these lyrics not as easy to read as they could be is the lack of punctuation. I don't know where one thought ends and another begins or where to pause for a breath because there's no punctuation to show me these things. These may be lyrics, but even lyrics follow the rules of grammar.
Overall, the biggest issue with these lyrics is the formatting. Fix the formatting and the spelling, and these lyrics will be much easier to read and understand.
LOVELOVELOVELOVE it <3 Hope to see this with some music someday
Keep writing
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