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by getalifeashley

Published June 13, 2010

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Comments & reviews · 13
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Jeanette
Review
Jeanette wrote a review Review · Jun 17, 2010

it's great poem! It'd be great as a note on Google or something. Haha, but you've been told about all this already. Great job, the rhythm is good, you kept with your "And we can face the world today" theme, it makes it memorable. It's great on the "Makes You Smile" scale :) Awesome!

:Jeanette:

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Forestqueen808
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Forestqueen808 commented Comment · Jun 17, 2010

This is simply amazing. We read so many depressing poems, but this just put a smile on my face! It is very uplifting and amazing! I love it!!!

<3Morgan,Dreamer:) wrote a review Review · Jun 17, 2010

This is simplely wonderful. What a great read and poem! I loved it. (: It was sweet and inspiring. Like several people have said earlier, I applaud the fact you wrote this lovely poem for your friend. I bet she just might keep it forever...I would.(: I think you started off just trying to make your friend feel better, and it turned into a beautiful piece of poetry.
I sadly have no suggestions for you. I am sorry to say that this review isn't going to be very helpful... WAIT! I got something to suggest. Keep writing poetry(:
Overall, your a great writer, and I plan on reading some of your other pieces. :)

-Morgan(:

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iheartbooks
Review
iheartbooks wrote a review Review · Jun 15, 2010

There's nothing really to say because everything has already been said! Your an amazing writer and I love this! It's quite uplifting and makes you feel all good inside =] There's nothing else to say though, soooooo... Keep writing, and keep smiling :D

-iheartbooks♥

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sillyducky
Review
sillyducky wrote a review Review · Jun 15, 2010

getalifeashley wrote:This isn't anything amazing, just something I quickly did for a friend of mine that needed a little uplifting.
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I may not be able to ease your aching heart
Or take your pain away
But smile kid
Just take my hand
And we can face the world today
I'll listen when you need to talk
I'll wipe away your tears
I'll do my best to comfort you
And help you face your fears
I'll be there for you and always will
No matter what comes your way
So smile kid
Just take my hand
Let's face the world today


There's not much to say about this other than it's amazing! What makes it amazing and not just cool is that you wrote it in encouragement... good job!

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telle_04
Review
telle_04 wrote a review Review · Jun 15, 2010

hello. :D

very simple, uplifting, straight to the point, i'm sure your friend liked this one.

however, i would suggest you observe punctuation, because it will be better that way.

this will make a good song, i think. nice poem.

-telle.

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ballerina13
Review
ballerina13 wrote a review Review · Jun 14, 2010

I really enjoyed this. It had great flow and rhythm. It was inspiring and put a smile on my face! :D I loved how you used simple language and made it to the point. The title drew me in as well. Such as simple phrase but it has so much impact on the person. Great job. I loved it.

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Tenyo
Review
Tenyo wrote a review Review · Jun 14, 2010

Liar! This IS something amazing!

I love this poem. People need uplifting every day, and with the mass of emoness that dominates poetry, this stands out a mile. I really like the informality of it, the title 'smile kid' drew me in for that reason. It uses a very basic rhyming scheme and every day language, but I think the brilliance of it is in the simplicity.

Keep it up :D

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getalifeashley Comment
getalifeashley commented Comment · Jun 13, 2010

Thanks guys. I fixed the two small errors. The mistake for 'the' with 'to' is the result of me typing things when I should really be getting some sleep. Like I should be doing right now. Again, thanks for the help :D

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Periablo
Review
Periablo wrote a review Review · Jun 13, 2010

Cool poem. All I have to say to fix it up is that in the middle you say "And we can face to world today" and I think you meant

and we can face THE world today.

Anyway, I really liked it. I can totally imagine this chick that I know reciting it. She'd just say so happily, "Smile kid". Man, that'd be cool. :D.

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Jun 13, 2010

Awww! This is adorable. I'm sure your friend will love it.

Just one thing!

I may not be able to ease your aching heart
Or the ability to take your pain away

Grammatically! "Or the ability to take..." doesn't make sense! I think it would be better as:

I may not be able to ease your aching heart
Or take your pain away

So yeah! Other than that, this is an adorable poem. :)

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Way2Dawn
Review
Way2Dawn wrote a review Review · Jun 13, 2010

Uplifting indeed! The poem itself is great, but for you to write to a friend in need makes it phenomenal. Its always good to be there for a friend in need, and to see you go the extra mile a write a short poem to help them is nothing less then heroic.
Another great piece of work keep it up Ash!
-Dawn



Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
— Sylvia Plath