smorgishborg

Is this true, or partly true? [spoiler]This is a three minute screenplay that I wrote for my friend's dad. It's only the first draft so... yeah. It looks odd because ...

Weird title. Lets see... [spoiler]Characters: MARLENE DAVIS is a waitress at Chance’s Diner. She doesn’t mind the job, but wishes she had something more in her life. She gets the ...

As promised... [spoiler]The Rerun By Josh Harris Cast Jessica-The Star Megan-The Brat Max-The Lover James-The killer Sue-The Granny Jane-The Director Producer-The Producer Info Jane, a crazy That does

Don't know why I didn't put it in a spoiler, but go figure. This is only part one, I don't have more time today, but [s]tomorrow[/s] sometime when I'm not ...

First things first. Italicize your stage directions so we can pick them out, and try to put your character's names in bold or CAPS. Now, on to the play: [spoiler]The ...

Eh, this never really stood out, but you squandered what promise it did have fairly shortly. It wasn't an exercise in incompetence, no you seem to be fairly adept at ...

Hey... you stole my idea of repeating the first line of the poem in every stanza. =P Good one. I don't think that the repetition helps this at all, because ...

Jack Kerouac, ladies and gentlemen. *** There were parts of this that were fantastic, and parts that were complete garbage. I loved and hated this thing, which means that nobody ...

There's really nothing compelling behind this poem, nothing that stands out for topical or literary acclaim. It never grabs like it should, it never takes you anywhere. It's been done, ...

I enjoyed it, not so much for any dazzling literary merit, but more for the sheer audacity of this. It flaunts a lot of the pretentiousness and sentimentality that we ...

This is actually really clever, It wasn't unbelievably abstract- just cleverly phrased. A very strong work. Unfortunately, the first stanza is the best of the lot. The second is second ...

I enjoyed this, although there were some overarching problems I had with clarity and such. I'd like to know where the story's going. Lets take this one for a ride ...

Yeah, keep it all in the past tense, that works with what Enys is saying. I think you should add more gore, because I don't think soldiers of the time ...

This is very nice, I appreciate the well written stage directions, although I suggest that you pick out a couple things to be specific about. Couple problems: There's little structure ...

Good news: You're a solid writer. Bad news: You need better material then this. There's hardly anything interesting in this story, it reads like a History Channel rerun, and merits ...