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Thanks for the feedback :) I added a few more lines so if you have time I'd love to know what you think of them

Thanks for the review! I added a couple of lines, not sure if they add any more depth to it but I tried...

Oops thanks for that it was supposed to be comes :) thanks for pointing that out for me.

Thanks guys! I really appreciate it. As for the sent to marry her thing it's just what they used to say, in the old days. Like they might say to ...

This was so good, I don't know what to say. It just flows really well, and I think the poems that don't rhyme are always better for descriptions like this ...

Thanks everyone for the positive comments! I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that walking beneath the wooden floors means that the narrator and the child are ...

Thanks heaps! :) I know the last line is a little weird but it was difficult to find a way to end it, especially so that it still rhymed.

Thanks everyone for the ideas! I have taken everyone's advice into account and so now it is edited. Since everyone keeps asking, the bridesmaid dress is ugly because the bride ...

Thanks everyone for the reviews. I've started editing it but am still a bit stuck on the ending. If anyone has any suggestions that'd be great. I started part of ...

It's amazing how much just a few lines can have so many different meanings. I really enjoyed this poem. It holds a lot of emotion. Well done :)

I agree with the story not being long enough. Why was he crying? What happened next? Why isn't she speaking? The first paragraph did hook me, though.

This is a beautiful poem. I love how you used the 'rooms' in it. Very emotional. Bravo!

I liked it. Short poems are always better than really long ones. I also agree with the thing about the I's at the start of the lines.

That's really cool. Humerous and witty. He sounds a bit like me... I eat a lot :D