verse 1:
There's a beautiful girl sitting by the river
She writes in her diary when she starts to quiver
She hangs her head and starts to cry
They all ask her but she won't say why
But you need to know that there was a boy
She thought it was real but she was just his toy
chorus:
Three summers ago he found his way into her life
Bought her love, her trust and her heart
Three summers ago he went and tore it all apart, broke her heart
And now she has nothing
verse 2:
It was a beautiful day when she started to smile
He was gonna come and it had been a while
She waited all day but he never came
She didn't lose hope and that's just a shame
But she didn't know that there was a girl
He'd sent to marry her and that's how it unfurled
chorus
verse 3:
She got a letter the very next day
And it just explained how he'd slipped away
So she made a vow on her life
That she wouldn't speak for the rest of her life
But nobody knew that she'd made the oath
So nobody knew why she never spoke
chorus
verse 4:
She never got over him but it was still strange
When three years later down he came
He sat next to her and he explained
His stupid mistakes since that day
He sighed and he said to her "I love you"
And the first words she said back were "I love you too"
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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140,586 Literary Works • 673,540 Reviews
Hi, I am your biggest fan and I am here to review your song
I do not think you should say bought, maybe say... "Gained her trust, her love and her heart" ... actually that sounds dumb... just find another word in a thesauraus.
Ummm bad choice of words haha. Maybe... He would soon arrive?
What do you think?
I think you should put "another" in there somewhere...
But it turns out nothing rhymes with another...
The last bit reminds me of Speechless by Lady Gaga hahah
And that is all.
Such a beautiful song. I love how it tells an interesting story and at the same time it's well organized. You have well characterized characters and interesting bonds between them. Nice job! Just keep the good work up!
Thanks guys! I really appreciate it. As for the sent to marry her thing it's just what they used to say, in the old days. Like they might say to their parents "As soon as I can I will send for her and marry her." You know?
Thanks again!
Smashles
I think song is interesting and different. It more or less tells a whole story. I'd love to hear it with music played.
I think if you added why she took him back, it might be better but that's just me.
Hiya Smahles. I'm Ladypurple. I'll be reviewing this for you today.
That was a cool song. I enjoyed it, really. But... if that guy was married... did he get divorced or did he just tell her while he was still married? I'm just asking.
~Ladypurple.