silented1

Again, it's good except for the repetition like in your other poem. =p

Hmm, well you should try using punctation or grammar, between lines to make the flow easier or atleast transition words or soemthing like that. That's all I got, sorry.

Only thing I have to say is don't be so repetitive. It's a bit boring but I really like your ideas and things. So yeah.

It's good except for the repition(He had this or he was this and all that jazz) and I have no idea whatssoever on what you're talking about here.

Here we are once more, Again. The again is redundent. Or whenever, That line seems usless, only there for rhyme. Not so good. Everything in the dark will shine. Really? ...

You should do some reviews. Then I'll give you a review. =] Deal?

What is with you and posting incredibly long poems!? This really discourages my reading of it.

Okay, okay, I recently have become obsessed with reading poetry... but some pieces don't actually rhyme at all... Are they supposed to not rhyme?? Have you been sleeping? My poem ...

Err how does sulphur play into this? Exactly? OR is it a referance to flames AKA hell?

Welcome back.

Nice, you did take out most of it's repetitiveness, phrasing wise. But you still used the word, Don't, a lot, and that does make the read less enjoyable. You added ...

!!!!! I never got to review it! CUrse you PIP! *cries in corner*

Your first 3 lines seem more like a disclaimer to me. And I don't understand the title, if it's night-time, you end with day dreams and nothing involving a bed. ...

You should do some reviews, it helps your chances of being reviewed. And wow, you write a lot.

Thank you, I ended up forgetting a little piece, I added a nice "as our souls cry" cliche, to the seocond stanza, after embers light the sky.(I think) Lol.