silented1

Thank you all, I have little to no experiance when it comes to editing a poem. I'd like it very much so to know if I'm doing it right.

It way too repetitive, I think you know where you repeated things too much.( EVERYWHERE ) I didn't even read it, when you take out the epic repetitiveness, PM me, ...

Hey christy, one thing I don't like is the repitition of memories in your 3rd and 4th stanzas, it seems off to me, like there's not enough words inbetween, but ...

You may want to try imagery and things, you know let the reader connect with what you're saying. It's a lot more fun to be talked with rather than talked ...

read and criticize That is the biggest deterrent for reviewing ever, for me at least.

Errrr... Your structure is interesting and it reminds of me a spoken poet, doing hand signs and things of the sort while they recited their work. Very nice, I'd ask ...

Am I supposed to review this? Lol

Heh, nice poem, I am glad that it's not long and the only thing I've got to say is that the repition isn't that great, it kinda got annoying. Other ...

I am going to try to stick with what I know, that way it's easier for me to use.

why would you alternate between the two? I mean it serves no purpose other than minor annoyance. Sorry. =p but it's abrupt.

I didn't even read it and I already think it's too repetitive just by looking at it.

Idea: Make an enitre room of this, color coated so it's easier to tell one poem from the next. Like a desk for the lamp to sit on and things. ...

Thank you for your comment. =] But I am going to lock this.

May I have an *actual* review, please?

Eddie! Well I can't review poetry, but this was good. I liked it. :) =p it's perfectly alright lav =].