silented1

This is very list like. And the water fountain / water park part, it's random an should be taken out, they're not needed. Since they describe nothing and you don't ...

This is kind of repetitive, you might want to change that up. and give it a story or something more interesting.

This is far too repetitive. Lose the list and the I do this, I feel this. I am this. It's too repetitive. Your last stanza is better, as it has ...

Stanzas 5 and 6 are your only good ones, the first 2 lines of stanza 5 are all that are okay from there. All of stanza 6 is good. Everything ...

LOLOL. Brillient!

You should do a couple reviews first. Then I'll take a look at your poem. And welcome to the site.

Yes. That is all I have to say.

Try changing things up and using imagery and similes and metaphors.

without even reading it, it seems too list like and too much of the same set up and wording throughout it. Change things up.

He is the third person to I. They're the same person, it's ment to show a form of insanity.

Well, imagination is fueled by fossils, and you have to burn fossils to use them as fuel. Next stanza talks about fire. And it also hints that imagination hurts. The ...

Wow, you're quite the uniform writer. Refer to one of my other reviews, or both. (that's right! All both of 'em!)

Well, your poem doesn't move. It's describing one moment in time, pretty boring, eh? And this is very list like, again pretty boring.

Hmm, how does this totally original title relate to this.

Meh, I don't get any motion and you should use some imagery. Like some images or something for us to grab onto and relate with. good luck, keep writing. Silented1.