silented1

Fair enough.

In this poem you focus a lot on the eyes, which isn't bad; but maybe you want to clear some of that out, try to make it more about the ...

Your star like beauty This is really efficient. Good job. Shining with celestial Celestial means nothing, try to change that. brilliance, I am enveloped in your shimmer You could definitely ...

The rhyme you used here helps a lot with flow that you break at points like I become vulnerable. You should try to remove the rhyme or make the whole ...

You use rhyme well here. There's plenty of it. Your use of rhyme gives it a musical feel and with something so dark it becomes strange. Just a note.

Thank you.

Favorite line: "a man-made, factory-run sun."

Thank you.

So sad. I know how you feel when you don't react hard enough. I'm sure she knows that you love her.

Bad line:It can come in many forms, shapes, or sizes. Try to make an image out of this, it comes as the bear or honey. Or the owl and a ...

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The grey line in the middle is a little hard to read. but I loved this.

You were not too harsh, I welcome any review. =]

"The pen's ink flows furiously" Change furiously to another word. It counters the next line.