silented1

This is good except it's abrupt. >.> If you made it flow more, it'd be easier to read. Other than that, good job. =p And some places seem to come ...

The questions were practically over kill, Sorry. There are many other ways to express these emotions without the questioning. like, It's said that there seems to be a pot of ...

There’s hardhat area nearby This seems werid to me, it just threw me off since there's no A between there's and hardhat. It just completely derailed me. and censored calloused ...

Here we are once more, Again. The again is redundent. Or whenever, That line seems usless, only there for rhyme. Not so good. Everything in the dark will shine. Really? ...

Dark red petals of a dark red rose, Dark red droplets on that dark red rose. The "dark red" is redundant here. =p It adds extra words, you know? Not ...

I am playing a game that you made for me. It is long and strenuous, but there is a prize I see. This stanaza has a lot of thoughts, not ...

Honestly, I was laughing. It was depressing, it was more so look at me, I can self destruct. This has a lot of ideas and thoughts over "poetic" words or ...

Without even reading your post, I can already tell that it's wayyy to repetitive. You may want to fix that. Also you have a typo in your second to last ...

I think you did a bit of telling us, more so than showing us. the smell of scorched flesh reaching your nostrils, and knowing full well that it is your ...

The ending is a bit detached from the poem. The ashes part that is, it's practically random. There was no Jack in sight, she would tumble down on her own, ...

First thing, after reading your disclaimer, if the poem tells a story, shouldn't it be in narritive, like your other one? Just a thought. Who had no right to steal/That ...

Arg, your rhyme, it annoys me a little bit. Maybe it's a little forced? When you shine so far above me, can you hear my silent cry? Now,that line does ...

Oy, I thought peeling dreams was a part of the poem, since you seperated each stanza with a ~. Photo-shoot sky? It's flashing? That is a little werid because it's ...

Haha!! Compare it to everyone else on this site? No need to let some pride in your way, miss, You're perfectly fine with poetry. Trust me. One thing, I don't ...

Cresent my friend! I will enjoy taring your poem to pieces!