shadowstorm

To add on to what charliebo said about the last stanza, i think it's because in the first three you have an "article + noun + verb" thing going on ...

Absolutely beautiful! I love your word choice, and good job on using punctuation. I think a general rule in poetry is capitalizing the beginning of each line, but don't hold ...

I agree with Gadi that this poem has great potential, but I do not think as many things should be changed. I would add more punctuation and work on word ...

I agree that Gates of Dawn has the potential to be a really strong poem. I think it would be strengthened if you gave greater depth to your words, instead ...

I like the rhythm a lot, except the last line seems a little out of place because it's so long. Maybe you meant it that way, to make it stand ...

Although Brad's comment was funny (and I'll have to remember it for use at some point in my life) I have to disagree with him. Simplest thought for a seemingly ...

Everyone else has already commented on the mechanics, so I'm going to totally ignore that and say just what I feel from the words themselves, though in retyping I might ...

French isn't my first language and I'm still learning it, but I'm pretty sure I'm right in the following: --In line one with "vife" I think you wanted "vif" but ...

Are you sure this is "The only poem you will ever get out of me ever." because I think it was overall quite good. Don't give up if you think ...

I really like your poem. It strives to answer questions that many of us find within ourselves at one time or another in our lives. It takes us through the ...

I liked the first two versions of the poem best. The reason why is how throughout the poems you kept using the same words frequently, like lust and owner. Something ...

I like how you chose to personify the fountain. I think the poem would flow better and hold people's attention better without so many sound effects put in though. A ...

It sounds like the poem holds a lot of pain. You did a good job with the metaphors. The end seems a little out of place with the rest of ...

I agree with Mad. There are definitely strong emotions conveyed in your words, but the varying in length of the lines makes it a little choppy. Maybe if some of ...

I like the word choice and descriptions. They really pull me in and make me care. They create an image in my mind. What could be better is the rhythm. ...