ryanmakenna

First of all, I'd like to say that I love the title of the book. Marble Lungs. Honestly, what a bada** name for a book! I kept trying to figure ...

First off, I just want to say, what an interesting way to introduce facts about your world by having the boy kill time by reciting them to Ellipse. I'm not ...

Nice job with telling us what Seenu is feeling and thinking! This chapter was much more interactive for the reader. His inner dialogue of what he wanted to say to ...

Does the devil dream have anything to do with the story in the future? It would be interesting if it was foreshadowing for something else! On to more serious things... ...

Alright so I like the progress that's being made. Seenu is starting to become more believable, but there is still a lot of missed opportunities for you to show us ...

Hey there, here for a review! So, during the dialogue between Seenu and Shanaya, you miss a lot of opportunity to give the characters more life. Right now, it reads ...

Alright, so I know you've already heard this as others have commented this as well, but I was a bit confused with whose POV this was until the very end. ...

Holy moly. This was a great short story. I loved how you introduced Tate. Wrapping her grandmother's gift, excited to be giving such a memorable gift. I almost wish now, ...

Hey there! I love the idea of a futuristic world, and an alternate timeline, with a magical fist that can grant you any wish you desire. However, as someone who ...

Alright, so you have a good idea. I like the setting: freshman in college, loving his new home, working hard to get that education he'd always dreamed of. However, I ...

Nice follow up to your first chapter. I was super confused during the elevator parts, however. I see that others were having trouble understanding it as well, and there have ...

Wow! Nicely done. First off, I love her name. Ellipse! So creative and inventive, and definitely sci-fi-y. You did a great job throughout the whole thing showing us the details ...

So, it started out good. I loved the little nuances and hints at the king's nervous demeanor well before you straight out mentioned it. Picking at his hands was the ...

Nice second half to your first chapter. You definitely do a better job showing vs telling in this half, and now I'm even more curious about the world that you've ...

Okay, so I love where this is going. I can seriously picture it like the set up for an awesome anime. The only thing I would say that could make ...