retrodisco666

If I'm correct in guessing what this is based on, then it's good. It is based on The twilight saga I think. As far as vampire stories go, this could ...

Hey, I liked to think that I am good with strange and different poems, so this would be in my category. No pain No happiness No excitement I think if ...

Hey, I shall be your reviewer. I think this is a truly excellent poem. I like how the length of each sentence kinda gets longer as if she spends more ...

Hey, I like this poem. It made me laugh. I know that probably not your intention, but I'm just cynical like that. I think it's length aids it so much, ...

Hey, I shall be your reviewer. You have a solid story line and I want to see where this goes, but it is way to fast. I think you should ...

Hey, I shall be your reviewer. I only noticed one spelling mistakes. I believe it should be shirt instead of shit at the end. You don't capitalize your I's and ...

Well done a million times over. This is one of the most powerful poems I have ever read. You used enjambment perfectly, it all flowed right. Do not change a ...

Hi, I liked it all, except this second stanza. I think it lacks something and doesn't really make sense. The only other thing was that you eyes will always be ...

Hi. It should be give. Not gives. I thought I would say this first as that is the negative over and done with. I really likes this piece. I want ...

Assassins and thieves. My ideal story. Your story has a very clear hook at the end which makes it readable. Your word choice was very good and fitted well. I ...

This is amazing. I actually cried because of the last two paragraphs. I can see why you got an A. The only thing I thought was that in the odd ...

Okay. I'm going to try to help. standing from afar, looking in a bar, at the girl talking about her dream car. I wish i could take her to the ...

Hey, I shall be your reviewer today. This poem was really hard to read. The sentences felt really drawn out and wordy. The repetition of the two stanzas does nothing ...

Hey, This poem doesn't work, but that makes it work. The people in the poem are wither murderers or vampires im presuming so that fact that the rhyme is slightly ...

[quote="july4ruby"]Sweet dreams,take me away comma not needed to a place where I don't have to pretend to be something else,a better me; Where there is no one to lead me ...