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Re: oculus reparo
I got chills from this. That doesn't usually happen with narratives, especially poetry, but somehow it did happen. And the Harry Potter series being symbolic for something really deep and ...
Jun 13, 2015 -
Re: Google Q&A
I loved the use of 90's slang. :D It did get a little tiresome at some points, but it was mostly great. I also enjoyed the Q and A format. ...
Jun 12, 2015 -
Re: Stars: The Forgotten
This was weird. In a good way! I'm a little confused about how he lost his memories and how he got them back so fast, but you wrote that there ...
Jun 10, 2015 -
Re: The Seven
Wow. This was reminiscent of "The Tell-Tale Heart" and "And Then There Were None", but not overly so. A few minor problems: "July, 7th...": there shouldn't be a comma after ...
Jun 10, 2015 -
Re: We're all good Americans.
I don't know what the Fish is, but I could figure it out, sort of. Maybe change that? If you want to; it's not a big problem. The poem really ...
Jun 8, 2015 -
Re: Father Doesn't Like The Noise | Edited
I'm not sure I'll be able to leave a "review" of this, since it was so well-written that I only found one problem. That is: "I have a freed my ...
Jun 8, 2015 -
Re: Invisible
If this is based on your real feelings--I'm sorry that you feel that way. I'll be praying for you. If it's just a random poem--you did a great job conveying ...
Jun 8, 2015 -
Re: Wool of the Prince-- Chapter 4
Wow. This is getting *really* good at this point. Work on minor grammar-and-capitalization matters, and this will be practically perfect. What I liked in more detail: -The plot! It's very ...
Jun 8, 2015 -
Re: Wool of the Prince-- Chapter 3
Okay, the monetary system is confusing, BUT it's also great, and very well-thought-out. Good worldbuilding never hurts! I liked the HP reference. :D My only real complaint is that so ...
Jun 7, 2015 -
Re: Wool of the Prince-- Prologue and Chapter 1
I noticed a few grammatical errors ("it's", when possessive, should be "its", for one thing. And you either left out or added some words near the beginning . No offense). ...
Jun 7, 2015 -
Re: I Will
*shiver* I agree about how awful abortion is! And this poem was pretty well written, except that sometimes it seemed to rhyme, but in other stanzas it didn't. Also, in ...
Jun 7, 2015 -
Re: Electric
This is great, in a sad way. Thank you for sharing. -A few grammar mistakes near the beginning--for example, the title of the book/movie should be capitalized, and Cuckoos should ...
Jun 6, 2015 -
Re: Sam
I liked it. A few awkward phrases (like "mask clear" instead of "clear mask"), but I hope a lot of people find this because it's very good! The problem: it's ...
Jun 5, 2015 -
Re: The Banshee's Brother
I honestly don't like rhyming poems much, so I'm not going to be positive about that part, sorry. But that's just my opinion--here's what you did well, regardless of my ...
Jun 5, 2015
