Who was I? What’s my name? Where do I work? The answer to that last question was definitely not ‘up here.’ I don’t even know this place. I was still not sure who I was. I felt like crying. Oh well, I told myself, the answers will come soon.
*****
What was I doing here? When did I get up here? How did I get up here? I creeped up to the edge of the man-made monster I was standing on. The view made me dizzy. My eyes felt like a washing machine. Round and round. I quickly ran back to the center and stared at a small rock to get my gaze back. What happened? I looked around for clues. I was wearing weird sort of shorts, which came up to my waist, and there was a silver, shining hook on it. It also had a weird magnifying glass in it. But it was a tube. This might lead me somewhere.
I sat down on the hard concrete roof, and looked at my surroundings. Air-conditioning units were scattered around the floor, but there was nothing else I could see. It was getting dark, the sun starting to set. I walked around, being careful not to look down from the edge again. And there I found it. It was a rope running through a pulley. A pulley? This makes no sense. And at the end of this rope was another hook, similar to the one on my shorts. And it was at that point I understood.
*****
Answers started flooding my brain. Rich- Richard? Richard. Then from somewhere else came another name. Gibbs. Richard Gibbs. Who was that? Was it me? Was it my dad? Then it hit me. Richard Gibbs! That’s me! And I work at the Liverpool Surgery! That’s me! I probably haven’t been more excited to say ‘That’s me!’ since I got 99.5% in my Year 12 exams, and my photo was in the newspaper for making it into Medicine.
*****
I climbed up this building! Those ‘shorts’ were actually a harness! Oh, this makes so much sense. But wait. Why? Why did I climb up here? That was still, unexplained. I remembered the magnifying glass in my ‘shorts’ and looked down. Oh, this isn’t a magnifying glass! This is a telescope! But why would I bring a telescope on top of a building? On top of a building...what can you see on a skyscraper that you can’t on the ground…? I started to doubt myself. This wasn’t leading anywhere. I bent my knees to sit down, finally deciding I should just lay down. I looked up into the atmosphere. The dark-red rays from the sunset flooded the sky. I didn’t even try to climb back down the building. Someone will rescue me. Night started to fall. I felt my eyelids gently closing. And just like that, I was asleep.
This short was created using the YWS Story Generator and therefore meant to be a fun story. The theme I was given for this story was:
'Your story is about a surgeon at the top of a skyscraper wondering about life on Pluto.'
This is an incomplete story and has more parts to come. I hope you all enjoyed and as always, reviews are welcome.
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Canary word: Present
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139,585 Literary Works • 672,611 Reviews
Hello willa!
Here comes Eros to write a review on your beautiful story "Stars: The forgotten".
The story is full of mysterious suspence. It is really wonderful. The story amazes me.This part speaks--It literally speaks, it has got a tongue to express itself--So, I was saying that this part speaks about how, in the beginning you had no memory about who you are, what do you do and many other things. Then slowly you get your memory and remember that you are Richard Gibbs and you are with a telescope on top of a building. First you mistaken the telescope to be a magnifying glass but then you remember that its a telescope. Finally, you feel sleepy and your eyes seems heavy and you doze off to sleep, on the top of the building itself, without even bothering to cme down--this shows that you were so tired.
I would like to say that your way of writing is really expressive. You have a good art of expressing the thoughts and feelings in a beautiful and an easy- to- understand style.
The story was superb. I was lost in it! I am excited to see what happens next!!
Please inform me when you publish the next part of it by writing a comment on my wall--I am really too excited to know what happens next!!
Wow, so many people love this part. I wasn't going to write part 2 to this series but...maybe I will. Hey, if @Eros liked it, then obviously I'll have to write Part 2
My final decision: I'll think about it. Actually, no. I WILL write part 2.
Good willa!! And see it has gt 7 comments!! It means 7 people are eagerly waiting for your next part!! I know its not just seven you should always count a double the number of comments ( because there are always many new members coming on YWS from all over the world, and who knows that your work will be read by most of them) --This means there are 14 people who are actually waiting for your story!!! Its really great, isnt it?
Yes it is great. Fantastic actually!
Hi, fantasydragon01 here. You may have remembered me for writing a review on "My response to the Pseudo-feminists". And so, I am here to write a review on one of your other works.
I found this interesting to read. What I liked about the story is that it is short, sweet, and to the point.
I have good news for you: I only found one nitpick:
1. "That was still, unexplained". I suggest that you get rid of that comma. This, the sentence will run smoother.
Other than that, the story was good. I enjoyed it. Keep writing and never give up.
Hey AdelVise here for a review,
This was a simple but interesting story. You did a very good job in the begging, by drawing the reader in with suspense. But the last paragraph was my favorite how you ended it was perfect.
I do suggest different word choices though. Several times though out your story you use the
same word more than once.
Other than that you did a excellent job, I am very excited to read more!
Thank you!
I think Phoenix and willachilles's Review-Response thing made it clear to me x
And oh, good story, looking forward to reading part 2.
Thanks!
This was weird.
In a good way!
I'm a little confused about how he lost his memories and how he got them back so fast, but you wrote that there will be more parts, so I hope my questions are answered then.
In the last paragraph (not including the author's note), your use of the word "down" twice, and so close together, makes the sentence awkward.
Good job for the most part. I can't wait for the rest.
Yes...all your questions will be answered soon...wait young raevynstar...all will come...
Sorry that's just me and my deep dark witch voice. Thanks for the review and I will fix up the 'down' bit.
-willachilles
*Turns off music so reviewing is not constantly interrupted by me dancing or lip synching to the songs...*
...FOB FOR LIFE. Or MCR. Or P!ATD. Or Paramore. Or Blink 182. Or All American Rejects. Or All Time Low. Or... I think that's it. Hm. Anyway.
At the beginning, how is he sure he doesn't work 'up there'? Actually how does he even know he's working at all? Maybe he was just enjoying the view on his coffee break. Idk.
And how is he sure that the answers will come to him soon? That seems like a pretty big claim since in real life you don't just get hit on the head really hard and BAM your memory comes back (I'm pretty sure anyways).
And at the beginning he says he's wearing weird shorts but we find out they're actually harnesses. My question is, wouldn't you know they're harnesses from looking at them? I mean, harnesses are just straps wrapping around your legs (or body, depending on what you're doing) so I'm not sure he would confuse them for 'weird' shorts.
Now I would question why he used climbed all the way up a building but since we haven't really got the entire story yet then I shall not for now. But what I will question is, did no one see him? I mean, HE'S CLIMBING UP THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING, it's not really something you see everyday...
But anyways, that's it from me. I shall now continue with my music.
Happy writing.
Hey @ThePhoenix,
Thanks for the review! Now I will respond to it.
He's sure that he doesn't work 'up there,' because there is nothing there except for a few air conditioning units.
The answers will come soon is just something you would say to yourself if you were being positive, right? Say in a test, you look at a question, it's too hard, so you move on. When you come back to it, you instantly know the answer.
He's just woken up from a very weird experience. He can't think straight. He thinks a telescope is a magnifying glass. I can't blame him, to be honest.
Yeah, he's climbing up the building. Obviously not from the front!
Thanks for the review.
-willachilles
Hi..
Ha..ha..ha..ha..
Surely, this story was so fun..funny! I loved and enjoyed it. Whoa! It was making me remembered about me and my friend were playing a weird-chain-storytelling. The teacher made us the theme and the first sentence and we had to continued it until one of us really strayed away from the theme. Anyway and again, I loved this. I'm waiting for part two and so on if you're making that way. Thank you for sharing.
YWS Story Generator? Seriously, I want to try too.
Thanks for the review @NicolMemo. Very kind words, and part two will be coming out soon.