Hey, cool kids and katz, or how you call it nowadays? Yo dawg? WASSUP MAH HOMIE?
I'm here to tell you all about this rad newold thing you've probably heard lots about but never used. It's called Google, and it is awesome incarnate, yo.
Q: So what the fudge is Google anyways?
A: It's only like the bestest of best things EVER, yo. It like finds things for you so you like don't have to like ask lameass questions on forums like all the time.
Q: "Fudge"? Really? And what do you mean lameass questions?
A: Kiddo, back in the good old days of the Young Internet Era, no one cussed. No one.
As for the lameass questions, they're so lame, they make my lame horse look like a Derby winner. Questions like "How do I X?" and "What is Y?" are like so lame, no one should be asking them, like, not when you have Google on your side.
Q: So how the fridge do I get Google on my side?
A: It's super easy, my main man. You just mosey on over to www.google.com and go from there.
Q: That's it? Really?
A: Yeah, man. Super easy, like I said. Just type whatever you're looking to find in that handy text bar, and you're golden. Google always does you a solid. Always.
Q: So there's, like, no tricks or secrets to it?
A: Naw. There's features though, like the advanced search which helps you narrow down whatever it is your looking for. There's also shortcuts that you can type into the search bar so you don't have to go mucking about the advanced search interface every time you wanna find something.
Q: What kinda shortcuts?
A: There's three main kinds of shortcuts: quotation marks, minus sign, and plus sign.
Surrounding any text in "quotation marks" tells Google to find everything that contains those exact words in that exact order. Rad, isn't it. Not a question.
Putting a minus (-) sign in front of a word tells Google to weed out any results that have that word in them or as a keyword (though I suppose you kiddos would call them "tags").
Putting a plus sign (+) in front of a word tells Google to include any results that have that word in them or as a keyword. It's the opposite of the minus sign. Not rocket science, yo.
You can use all three of these shortcuts in one go to narrow your searches down a ton and make finding whatever it is you're looking for much faster and easier. You can even double up, so long as they aren't opposites. Because opposites negate, duh.
For example, your search string (which is what the text you type into the box is called if you didn't know) could look like this: "to be or not to be" -Hamlet -Shakespeare +movie
What that string'll do is give you results that contain the phrase "to be or not to be", exclude all references to Hamlet and Shakespeare, and include movies. To say it more simple-like, Google will find movies and only movies that use the phrase "to be or not to be" somewhere in their script. Cool, ain't it.
Not a question.
Q: So, I've got the shortcuts down. Now what?
A: Congrats, kiddo. You've just mastered the basics of Google-fu. But don't go getting all complacent. There's more. Lot's more.
Have some pretty pictures. I know you kiddos like pictures. Heck, even I like pictures. Pictures never get old. Except when they get dated, but that picture's still pretty in.
A: The art of using Google. A true master of Google-fu can find anything, even the most obscure items of information. They wield Google like a finely honed blade, excising only the most relevant and accurate information at will with nary a sweat or lapse in serenity.
Q: How can I become a master of Google-fu?
A: Learn well the shortcuts and the theory of keyword narrowing. The better you know your weapon, young grasshopper, the more skillfully you shall be able to wield it.
Q: Keyword narrowing? What?
A: That ain't strictly a Google-only thing, mah homie. Google it yourself, yo. You've got the know-how now, pow-wow. It's time to fly.
Q: Wait? You mean that's it?! You're not gonna tell us any more?
A: I ain't gonna Google for you.
Now scram! My 90s slang quota is done and good.