one day in june,
my friend wrote me a list of things
i am good at.
she did not preface it with anything much,
only a simple
“here you go.”
the title of the document was
“your talents”,
and she had bullet pointed them in what seemed a very
systematic
and thoughtful way
and it reminded me of
hermione granger,
a woman caught between the pages of seven
books
that we had both
at some point
striven to emulate
on what i think is around about the same day
a year later,
it became very clear to me
that the only one in need
of such a list
was the same person
who had created it.
i found it curious
that a person could have such capacity to love
others
but not
herself.
and one day i caught her arm
and i looked at it
and she looked at me
looking at it
and then
she started
to cry.
and i am not sure what hurt more
whether it was the feeling of the tears soaking into
my shirt
or the thin, wavering lines of red
on her arms,
ones that she had arranged in what seemed a very
systematic
and thoughtful way
and the colour reminded me
of ron weasley,
who was a character i must admit
to disliking at first
but becoming fond of
eventually,
and one i know she
had always loved.
my friend is very pale and very slight,
and she is very beautiful
in a way that everyone but her seems to notice.
sometimes i look at her and i wonder at how someone so stiflingly
brillant
can have more faith in an ink and paper boy with a lightning bolt scar
than in herself.
but then,
i suppose,
these things have always been very strange to me.
my friend listed my talents
when i did not need them listed.
but i fooled myself into thinking
i did,
and she acted upon
what she saw.
i wonder now,
what i could and would
have done.
and i wonder if my friend
still hurts so much
that she feels she needs to cut
the feeling
out of herself.
and i will not ever write her a bullet-point list,
because it will be too long.
instead i have written her
this.
just over six hundred words of whispered nothings
and fervent wishes that they would make the wispy lines of red on her arms
go away
all of which i will never show her,
but she will find anyway.
and i will read her favourite books
forever
if i must.
i will not tease her for the way the pages of her copies are slightly
wrinkled
because she reads them in the bath.
i will remember that the characters’ middle names are james and jean and
bilius,
and i will not ever call harry potter
foolish,
or self-absorbed,
mostly because he is not
and also because
i see him in her every day.
i will love slytherins and i will love gryffindors
and heaven forbid i should leave out hufflepuffs or ignore
ravenclaws
i will watch every film at least
seven times
i will appreciate severus snape
and james potter
simultaneously,
and i will listen to every anecdote that she ever relates to me on the topic
even if i have heard it before.
if those seven books about a boy who lived
in a cupboard under the stairs
tell the only story that ever stays in my head
then i am glad that my friend picked a story
that is worthwhile.
and i hope that even ten years after i write this
she will still love the ink and paper boy with
the lightning bolt scar,
but she will love herself
just as much.
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140,667 Literary Works • 673,586 Reviews
I can't begin to express what I felt whilst reading this poem, tears running down my cheeks as I write this.
Firstly I would like to address how beautiful this poem is because of its deep understanding and how personal it is but still has the power to relate to a lot of the teenage population. The symbolic use of Harry Potter was 'bloody brilliant' as Ron would say. I personally think that you are one beautiful soul; the understanding you express for someone you love in this poem is so rare and unique, this was exactly what made me cry. Please show this to your friend!
Thank you for sharing this.
I got chills from this. That doesn't usually happen with narratives, especially poetry, but somehow it did happen.
And the Harry Potter series being symbolic for something really deep and personal! Yes!
My one problem--one very minor complaint--is this:
"I will not ever..." I think it should be "never"; that just seems more correct.
Amazing work; this is one of my favorite poems on YWS, and I've read some good ones.
I just want to say that I absolutely adore this. Many of my poems are fueled by the pain I saw in a best friend that cut, so I relate very closely to this.
Show this to her, please. I think it's beautiful, and I can see that you really went out on a line by putting this out here.
Keep writing.
~Night
Oh my god. This is amazing! I was caught by the title- the first spell that Hermione casts on Harry to fix his glasses. This is a great way to start off a poem, and as a member of the Harry Potter Generation, I am thoroughly impressed by your thoughtfulness. this poem is magical! I am also touched by the relationship you are your friend have with each other and Harry Potter. Here's to a fantastic poem!
You already have a bunch of terrific reviews and thoughts about this poem, but I liked it quite a bit, so I will add my voice to the masses.
Okay, so I'm a sap. And a Potter fan. So obviously this made me tear up a bit and it made me like it. A lot.
I will echo carbonCore's sentiment about the poem. Show this to her. You would not believe the reaction you would get from someone that you've written a poem about. I know. I've shown people. It's simultaneously terrifying and euphoric. Do it.
As for the poem, it's really lovely and full of emotion. I appreciate that you grounded it in something that lots of people can connect to, and it reminds me of the times that I took comfort in Harry Potter, as the girl in this poem does.
I have only a few criticisms.
I know that line breaks are an artistic choice and blah blah blah but I felt like some of the line breaks (particularly when it was a long line leading into a very short line) were appealing neither aesthetically or poetically. I would work on using fewer extremely short lines. For example, these lines:
Would feel better like this:
My other criticism is that you missed an opportunity for reference.
What about "curiouser and curiouser?"
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Enough to give it a like! I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy poeting!
There has never been a time when I couldn't write a review for something my dear .... I am speechless and this isn't a review . It's praise , and welcome to yws .
You wrote this to dissuade your friend from cutting, but aren't planning on showing it her, in spite of her doing a similar thing for you?
That seems a little counter-productive, doesn't it?
Implying that's the truth and not part of the "plot", as it were.
Hey there disillusioned!
Firstly, welcome to our wonderful realm of writers known to all as YWS. I hope you enjoy every moment of your time with us, and that you write more pieces just as brilliant as this one.
Anyway, onward to the poem then, shall we?
Let me just say, I admire your usage of freestyle poetry, or freeverse, as we know it in South Africa. Structured poetry has its place, but this poem calls for freestyle, so good job with that. Also, the way you used the verse lengths to your advantage in describing or putting emphasis on words was also superbly executed, so...
Just two minor things which I would have preferred a bit differently. One, even though you as poet are allowed to write the poem as you wish, I would still add capitulation in some places. It can help emphasize important words/ideas, or just add the feeling of a whirlpool of emotions (you know, capital letters placed in unusual places and whatnot)
Two- you seem to like the two words "I will" a lot, especially near the end. Now, there's nothing wrong with it, but to me as reader, it became a bit repetitive after about the four time. Just small adjustments, like omission or different wording would have changed things up a bit, and thus remove that repetitiveness.
Overall, this is a beautifully written poem, which really touched my heart at the love between friends. I really hope your friend gets through whatever emotional situation she finds herself in, and that the two of you grow closer with each day. I shall rate this poem 9.5 out of ten. Bravo!
P.S- contact me when you post another piece, or just have queries about the website. I'll be glad to help!
Sincerely,
The Wandering Wizard
Hi! Welcome to YWS! I adored your poem. If you can't tell from my username, I'm a HUGE fan of Harry Potter, and I like how you used that as a metaphor for her insecurities. There isn't any critique I know to give you that hasn't already been given in another review, but I just wanted to say that you did an amazing job with this poem. I can't wait to read more from you. Keep writing!
Hey disillusioned~
Although I see you're new to the site, you seem to be fitting right in. I have recently started writing freestyle poetry, and personally, I enjoy reading it more than structured poetry. I like what you have set up here; the Harry Potter metaphor that reoccurs throughout the piece really interweaves through the message of insecurity nicely. I think this helps the poem a lot; you relate the characters of a book series to the levels of introversion of this girl, and word your verses as to sympathize with her inner conflict. This is beautiful; you don't only tell the story as if it's part of you, but you tell it like you're part of the story, which to me is amazing. It brings me into the world of this girl, and at the same time brings me deeper into the virtual reality as it pertains to her mind and the characters within. This is really a job well done.
Whoa. The way you used this later on as well as to create repetition; it just blew my mind. You compared two very different situations, and described them with the same words. In fact, just to spare you the bore of me droning on about everything in great detail, I'll just admit to you that this entire piece was magnificent in terms of its content. It's like you take all of these pieces of a puzzle and put them together in a way that that really evokes emotion from your reader. All of the different parts fit together.
The only thing I'd really suggest here is to mess around with the format a little bit more. A good number of the lines only have one or two words, which is fine in terms of the technical rules of free-verse poetry (there are none), but it distracted me a bit. There's generally a small pause proceeding each line, and pausing constantly in seemingly random places gets to be a little choppy. Just maybe combine a few lines, you know, simple format editing. Play with it a little, and change it to fit your liking. Have fun with it.
God, wow.
I only realize how well done this really is after beginning to review it. I read every part over again, and I just feel so...relieved, I guess. That there are people out there who care as much as you do, about the world inside the heads of the people who find it hard to come outside of their shell and confront the world. This was so inspiring; I'll be keeping an eye out for future works of yours.
What a poem.
Yours,
Sav
I believe it's perfectly alright for me to want to cry, correct? I've decided That it's okay for me to want to do that. I highly appreciate the realness in this poem.
Whenever there is an accessibility in poetic works, I count it a success.
I love how much of a good friend you are to your own friend.
I love how Harry Potter acts as a saving grace, and how you love it because your friend cherished it.
Gosh. This piece.
I think I was too distracted by it's rawness and grossly beautiful execution, that I didn't find any mistakes in grammar.
All I can say is I really wanted to own your emotions. The emotions and knowledge you've had while writing this.
There just so powerful and I love this so much.
The way you were reminded of J.K.'s characters in relation to your friend. Not because you're obsessed with the books, but because you love her so much. Her interests are your interests.
I've fallen in love with this love poem. You love your friend so much, and this is the proof.
Thank you for this.
--faunafaun out
Thank you so much for this review!
You've made my night!
Okay, this poem is legit. I a solitary love it! I honestly have never seen anything like, and that my friend should be take as a compliment. I think that this is a amazing sorry brought to life in a different perspective and I think that I should shut up and start reviewing our amazing piece!
I am usually big on formatting. Formatting is a big deal for me because I think that the poem should look as good as the actual meaning and material. But honesty in this poem, I didn't even care if the lines were super long in some places and short in others, the message overrode it and the poem turned into a magnificant story that I couldn't stop reading.
Speaking of that, one thing that really amazed me is that you kept me captivated by the words you wrote. You have managed to put an awesome message that kept on going and going until the very end. You kept it detail, but you left room for some imagination, and that takes insane skill.
I really want to talk about the message for a minute. This is what hits home for me. I have a friend who cuts and is very insecure about herself. Even though she is them it's beautiful girl I have eve seen she doesn't believe it. She doesn't see what I see. That really hurts me, and I think that this poem gets at some of the confusion and hope. Which is really awesome and inspirational.
Overall you creativity was ridiculously amazing and your story and message was really touching! Thank you for worrying this piece whether it was real or not this had an impact on me, and I'm sure it will on many others!
Keep writing bro.
~#41
Thank you so much for this.
Hello and welcome to YWS! As for me I entered yesterday and I hope we're going to be like somewhat, friends. So, your poem about Harry Potter, I must admit this was quite good, fun and maybe funny. The way you wrote it, why you didn't cap any words? Be really careful and change it right away, please. I chuckled a few times and I hope you're going to keep writing and posting and reviewing! I truly hope this helped. Improve your grammar too.
You clearly did not read the entire poem because it is NOT about Harry Potter. I write freestyle poems, which means that the formatting is exactly that -- freestyle, meaning that if I choose to not capitalize for artistic purposes, then that is exactly my intent.
Thank you for reviewing, but next time be sure to read through an author's entire piece before leaving obvious comments and blatant criticism.
Well my fault then I'll be cautious.. But you still put Harry Potter in it...The names themselves will be a proof that you're putting somewhat the element of it or you're saying that you created the names. No hard feelings. Thank you for reminding.