piepiemann22

Alright, thanks. I'll see what i can do.

Thanks for taking the time to read it. I confess I had little time to look it over. When i finished i was given no time really to look it ...

Okay. First, you zipped right through it. Detail is badly needed. First, try descibing the town. Then, give more detail on the people you are introducing. Right now I can ...

Well, that makes it kind of original Matt. I like the story, it seems to have a chance of going some were. One thing though, EXPLAIN!!!!! I had the same ...

first of all no rhyming. You have a good idea here but i think the rhyming kind of destroyed it. Don't woory though, i can't write a rhyming poem is ...

Adding on to what she said the rhyme over all could be taken out. You may find it easie. Second, the first line, is await awake. If so now you ...

Personaly, I like it. You capture true feeling in this piece. One thing though, the rhyme in the first stanza dives the rytheme of a bit. Fix that and you're ...

I think it's good. The flow is well put and the depth, the very heart of the poem is amazing. You may be part of it. You never know.

Thanks everyone. I'll get to it as fast as I can.

Um, why are there so many people on the Millennium Falcon? Can it hold that many people? And why is Eregon and the others not afraid of a spaceship?

Don't worry, I'm dumping this version. it's clear it needs alot more thought. For now i think i'll try another idea soon.

Okay, just skip an extra line to show a new paragrph. I only had time to read the first chapter, but it seems quit interesting.

At least I'm getting there.

I'll try that next time, thanks.

Okay, now I get it. It is a little random, but it is a nice poem.