Ghost

by Phoenixfire

Published January 28, 2007

a ghost lingers in the doorway
silently
watching
and listening
to the lives that flow around it
it. . . or him
I cannot tell which
but sometimes in the middle of the night
he whispers
softly singing in the dark
keeping the nightmares away
beckoning the dawn

Comments & reviews · 9
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Phoenixfire
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Phoenixfire commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

When I get more inspiration on this topic, I'll write more and add to this. The lack of capitalization/punctuation was on purpose, as sort of a contribution to the middle-of-the-night weirdness of the poem.

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BFG
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BFG wrote a review Review · Jan 28, 2007

Cool choice of topic! I like it, but I'd like to here more about it. I'd add to it, include a few more descriptions of the ghost, build up the atmosphere a little more. And I'd like to get to know the narrator and their emotions better, too. It's really good - I'd like to see it continued further. :)

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Cade
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Cade wrote a review Review · Jan 28, 2007

Phoenixfire wrote:no, you're not missing anything. it was random. the general feeling was that of being comforted by a ghost singing in the dark, because in the middle of the night absolute silence can be scary as heck. I thought it was a fun image.

I say go more on this idea of being comforted by a ghost. It was so vaguely addressed in the poem. It is a fun image; it's a unique one. At least, I haven't heard of that being written about before. Go on it! The poem is vague and drifty. Make it more concrete and more poetic, rather than just a list of general phrases.
And: PUNCTUATION! CAPITALIZATION!

Colleen

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piepiemann22
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piepiemann22 commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

Okay, now I get it. It is a little random, but it is a nice poem.

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Dream Deep
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Dream Deep commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

I found it beautiful, Phoenix. ^_^

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gyrfalcon
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gyrfalcon commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

coolness!!!! *hugs* very loverly, darling.

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Phoenixfire
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Phoenixfire commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

no, you're not missing anything. it was random. the general feeling was that of being comforted by a ghost singing in the dark, because in the middle of the night absolute silence can be scary as heck. I thought it was a fun image.

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piepiemann22
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piepiemann22 commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

Okay, um, I don't see what this means. It's a nice poem, but I don't know where your coming from. maybe I'm missing something.

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purplepyro Comment
purplepyro commented Comment · Jan 28, 2007

Sounds like someone I know. . .



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