Published January 28, 2007
a ghost lingers in the doorway
silently
watching
and listening
to the lives that flow around it
it. . . or him
I cannot tell which
but sometimes in the middle of the night
he whispers
softly singing in the dark
keeping the nightmares away
beckoning the dawn
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
When I get more inspiration on this topic, I'll write more and add to this. The lack of capitalization/punctuation was on purpose, as sort of a contribution to the middle-of-the-night weirdness of the poem.
Cool choice of topic! I like it, but I'd like to here more about it. I'd add to it, include a few more descriptions of the ghost, build up the atmosphere a little more. And I'd like to get to know the narrator and their emotions better, too. It's really good - I'd like to see it continued further.
I say go more on this idea of being comforted by a ghost. It was so vaguely addressed in the poem. It is a fun image; it's a unique one. At least, I haven't heard of that being written about before. Go on it! The poem is vague and drifty. Make it more concrete and more poetic, rather than just a list of general phrases.
And: PUNCTUATION! CAPITALIZATION!
Colleen
Okay, now I get it. It is a little random, but it is a nice poem.
I found it beautiful, Phoenix. ^_^
coolness!!!! *hugs* very loverly, darling.
no, you're not missing anything. it was random. the general feeling was that of being comforted by a ghost singing in the dark, because in the middle of the night absolute silence can be scary as heck. I thought it was a fun image.
Okay, um, I don't see what this means. It's a nice poem, but I don't know where your coming from. maybe I'm missing something.
Sounds like someone I know. . .