Eragon Shadeslayer stands on a hill over looking the Varden camp, when he notices a pair of silver things coming into land. “Eragon, do you see the silver things landing?” “Yeah.” “Saphira, are they dragons?” “No, little one.” “Roran, Saphira and I are going to find out what they are.” “I’ll come with you.”
On board, the Millennium Falcon Jaina Solo Durron and her husband Kyp Durron are contentedly talking with newly weds Anakin Solo and Tahiri Veila about Anakin’s mysterious return from the dead, when a jolt slams them back in their seats.
“Dad, what happened", Jaina calls to her father Han Solo. “Jaina, I think we landed on some planet.” “Is the Jade Shadow all right?” “Your Aunt and brother just commed us.”
“Jania, Kyp, Anakin and Tahiri get ready to go greet some guests.”
Getting her and Kyp’s light sabers she pulls on a light silver jacket that matches her pants perfectly."Ready, Durron?” “ If you are, Goddess.”
Going to the already lowered ramp, they see two men and a dragon.
“Hello, I’m Eragon Shadeslayer and you are?”
“Jedi Knight Jaina Solo Durron.”
“Jedi Master Kyp Durron.”
“Jedi Knight Anakin Solo.”
“Jedi Knight Tahiri Veila Solo.”
“Captain Han Solo.”
“Jedi Knight Leia Organa Solo.”
“Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.”
“Jedi Master Mara Jade Skywalker.”
“Jedi Knight Jacen Solo.”
“Queen Mother Tenel Ka Solo and my daughter Allana.”
“Ben Skywalker.”
“Welcome to Surda, I’m Roran Stronghammer.”
“And I’m Saphira Brightscales.”
“You talk!” “Did you think I was a lizard?”
Just then, Jaina notices a tall black haired woman coming towards them.
“Eragon Elda, I seen you’ve met the new comers.”
“Greetings I’m Arya Svit-Kona ambassador from the elves.”
“Eragon, Nasuada and Orrin will need to meet these Jedi.” “Who will meet with Nasuada and Orrin?” “Kyp and Jaina Durron, and Anakin and Tahiri Solo will meet with Nasuada.” “Leia Organa Solo, Jacen Solo, and Mara Jade Skywalker will meet with Orrin.” “Thank – you, Luke Elda.” “Elda?” “An honorific term for a man or woman of wisdom, Luke you have shown wisdom by choosing people that will get along with Orrin and Nasuada, hence Luke Elda.
“Thank You, Arya Svit Kona.”
“Eragon, you will go to Orrin and I will go to Nasuada.”
“Very well.”
“Jaina, Kyp, Anakin and Tahiri if you’ll follow me, we’ll be there in no time.
“Ms.Solo, Jacen, and Master Jade Skywalker would you please climb on to Saphira and then we’ll be on our way.” “Yes, Eragon.”
“Eragon, how did you get the name Shadeslayer?”
“By killing a shade named Durza, Master Jade Skywalker.
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
O-Kay Jaina and Zekk.
hey Lanna!
Well..someone of the others up there nailed it..and some are completely clueless...
Anyways, this was really funny!
I like it!
But sorry it's Zekk! Jaina and Zekk!
~Timea
Thank you.
Alanna
Hey!
I'm a big fan of Eragon and Star Wars to. I'm nowhere near eighty-seven books, but I appreciate the fact that you know all those characters and are not making them up. I know almost all of them.
The introductions do get a bit long, but I'm not sure how else you could do it otherwise.
And I'm just going to forget the realistic part. I mean, both the stories aren't realistic anyway, so how can something be realistic when it's based on something not realistsic?
Anyways, good Fanfiction! It has lots of names to show you know what you're talking about.
Well, as long as you enjoy writing it, that's all the matters. I haven't looked through this in any detail, but a couple of pointers: I don't know whether you're typing so fast you miss them, but some of your commas are in the wrong places. Just go back and check them, to make sure they come immediately after the previous word, instead of immediately before the next. Also, try including some description, as it would help progress the the story along.
Hope that helped,
-Kaz
It's just a fun fanfic piece and I right whenver I can so ......
By the way Anakin will get back Jaina eventually.
Lanna
I think you're taking the subject matter too seriously. Eragon meets Star Wars...it just can't be serious. Most of the cross-overs like this that I've read treat the whole thing as a joke, and it works.
There's too much dialogue, and it doesn't read quite right; you've put spaces in some of the wrong places; and your characters repeat themselves too much.
I don't mean to be discouraging. I liked the bit about the baby-sitting, though.
-Twit
So it's. . . . .Not satirical?
“I’m Tahiri Veila Solo and these kind people are Jaina Solo Durron, Kyp Durron, and my husband, Anakin Solo,”
“Welcome, Nasuada is expecting you.”
Entering a tent, a dark skinned woman smiles and says” Thank You, Arya”.
“Hello, I’m Nasuada, leader of the Varden.”
“Hello I’m, Kyp Durron and this is my wife Jaina Solo Durron.”
“Welcome, Kyp and Jaina.”
“Hello, I’m Anakin Solo, Jaina’s brother, and this is my wife, Tahiri Veila Solo.”
“Welcome, Anakin and Tahiri.”
“Thank you, Milady, and please excuse my husband’s manners he hasn’t met royalty before.” “Tahiri, I’m related to royalty remember?”
“You sure didn’t show it, Anakin.” “Anakin, Tahiri, stop it or I’ll tell Jacen that you guys want baby-sit Allana for a month.” “Jaina, you wouldn’t dare?” “Would I, after all I married a Rogue.” “Fine you won for now, Jaina.”
“Might I ask what are you doing here?”
“We were traveling through hyperspace when we were sucked in to a black hole, I think.”
“Interesting, Kyp.”
“Well actually our family was going to visit a planet called Zonoma Sekot, and Kyp and I were going on our wedding trip.”
“ As were Anakin and I.”
“Well I hope you’ll stay and help us defeat Galbatorix.”
“We’ll talk to Leia and Master Skywalker about it.”
”Thank you, Jaina .”
“ Saphira, go easy on them.”
“Sure, Eragon.”
“There’s Orrin waiting for us.”
“Orrin?”
“King of Surda, Jacen.”
“Eragon, when we get back will you tell me all about Saphira?’
“Sure, Jacen.”
“Thanks, Eragon.”
“No problem, Jacen.”
Setting down, Eragon tries to help Mara, Leia and Jacen off Saphira they shrug off his help and jump lightly to the ground.
“Hello ,Eragon.”
Greetings, Orrin.”
“Who are these people?"
"I am Master Mara Jade Skywalker."
“Welcome, Mara.”
“I’m Jedi Knight Leia Organa Solo.”
“Welcome, Leia.”
“I’m Jedi knight, Prince consort, Jacen Solo of Hapes.”
“Welcome to Surda, Jacen.”
“What are your motives , Ambassadors?’
“To greet you and say we come in peace.”
Sorry........................................it's still squashed up in some places, and you're missing some quotation marks, and there's some grammer mistakes as well. Sorry, but proof read this at least twice.
-Twit
I worked on it!!!
Yes, for the love of God, space the dialogue. It's ok if it's paragraphs of description, etc. but we can't tell what's going on here. It's too busy!!
But it isn't fine on here! Look at it when it's on here, and edit it accordingly! (duh, duh, duh, duh, duh...)
Sorry to keep on nagging, but you've gotta do this to get people to take notice of your stuff! I should know - the first things I put on here were all squashed up, and people told me so in (dare I say it?) no uncertain terms.
-Shadow
I chech it on word and it's fine.
This is okay.
Everyone is saying this, but you really need to space 
I couldn't tell who was talking and it is much harder to keep your place.
Also, at the beginning, when all of the Jedi people introduce themselves, I thought it was a bit monotonous. Too many names. Maybe less people could be in the ship?
Sorry about any Star Wars misunderstandings, I'm not too familiar with the movies.
~Pyx
I'll work on it.
Lanna
Helloooo? Alanna, is it impossible for you to space anything of your's out properally?!
Sorry, but whenever I see anthing of your's, its all squashed up, making it impossible to appreciate, much less critique.
-Shadow
“What is a shade?” “A dark user of magic.”
“Interesting.”
“Who is Nasuada?” “The leader of the Varden, Jaina.”
“The Varden?” “The warders of freedom, Master Durron.”
“The warders of freedom?” “We are fighting against an empire.”
“How interesting my Mom, Dad, Uncle, sister, and brother fought against the Empire.”
“Jaina, are you Kyp married?” “Yes, for about a month.” “Arya, don’t mind Jaina and Kyp, they didn’t want or get honeymoon.” “And we did, Anakin?” “Tahiri, remember we spent it with my family.” “Only because, the force let you come back to life.”
Walking and listening Arya can’t believe this family is for real.
“Arya, we are not crazy.” “We’re Solos and Durrons and this is normal.”
“Normal?” “Every one is force sensitive except, Han Solo.”
“Force sensitive?” “Jedi.” “Interesting, Orrin and Angela are going to have a lot questions.”
“Arya, who are these people?” “Ambassadors from the silver things,Jormordur”
“Greetings, I am Jormundur, Lady Nasuada’s military adviser.
“I’m Tahiri Veila Solo and these kind people are Jaina Solo Durron, Kyp Durron, and my husband, Anakin Solo,”
“Welcome, Nasuada is expecting you.”
No, it is not a rant about how much I hate Eragon.I love the Eragon book and know a little too much about Star Wars. I own eighty-seven Star Wars books and run a site called jainasgirl and I can tell you exactly what book Chewie dies in.
By the way there are 2 ships the Jade Shadow ans the Falcon.
Off-topic, but the Millenium Falcon had a passenger capacity of around six, and probably enough for a few crew, from two to six. That's twelve at the maximum, if you're squeezing people in, but I'd say it was aiming for around 8 people. Most of the Falcon was holding compartments for smuggled goods, and probably would be considered a small ship in terms of passengers. That's (obviously) not what it was designed for.
This is simply an "Eragon-is-a-complete-rip-off-I-hate-this-book" rant. Nothing more, nothing less. The structuring suggests that this was trown together in a matter of minutes, with only enough research for the Star Wars names, if even half of them are real (I'm not sure).
If you didn't like the book, voice your opinions in the book review thread for it like everyone else. You're certainly not the only one who dislikes it. This doesn't even deserve to be called fanfiction, considering the fact that you're obviously not a fan. If you want to make a parody/sarcastic story about the rip off, go right on ahead, but at least put a little effort into it so that it can actually be called a story. Then, if I see it, I'll see if it makes me laugh. I've seen cliche satires before, and I have found them funny. This sounds like little more than a rant. With a little expansion, and thought, I can see this becomming kind of humorous, now that I envision it. How about spending a bit more time on it to make it flow and sound more coherent?
And piepiemann22, the Millennium Falcon was a good sized ship, just had a small cockpit instead of a bridge deck.
This is supposed to be satirical 'fan' fiction of Eragon. It is here to 'take the pi**' as it were. It serves to highlight the obvious and unashamed similarities between Star Wars and Eragon, and should therefore be viewed neither as canon, nor to be taken seriously. It's made for a laugh.
Um, why are there so many people on the Millennium Falcon? Can it hold that many people? And why is Eregon and the others not afraid of a spaceship?
Can you space this out? The spaces dividing up the dialogue are in all the wrong places, and frankly, as it's mostly all dialogue, it needs to be spaced out properally.
-ST