peanutgallery007

Hi there! I loved this piece. Loved. It. I normally dislike romantic fiction very much, and dispise visiting the forum, but this piece is awesome! I didn't find anything to ...

Hi there! April at your service *bows*. I absolutely love hiakus, but I find them extremely hard to critique, so don't blame me if I'm wrong here. ;) I found ...

Hi there! You look partially new, so welcome to YWS! :D I'm April, and I'm here to leave my comments and opinions behind. I know it sounds bad, but it ...

Hi there! I'm April. I love how you wrote this in honor of the veterans; it's so sweet. But I do have some nit- picks... About the title. You spelled ...

Hi there, and welcome to YWS! I see this is one of the first things you've posted here. You'll look back on this piece when you have more seniority here, ...

I came back, in the next morning. Hiya! Sorry about starting off the review with a nit- pick :oops: . OK, for this sentence, I would get rid of the ...

Hiya Moosic! :D just look at me through your glass. I second Jon's opinion. That line is too long, and seems to slow the flow. Not good! through the rain ...

Hiya June! I must say, as a lover of grammar, this is exceptionally well- written and revised. You're leaving me very few nit- picks to catch ;) Mayflower Center for ...

Hiya Jon :) OK, I found already, even in the first paragraph there is a specific style of writing you use, and that style is straight- forward. Straight forward, and ...

Yola, Blot! ;) The desert lay calm, chilling under the moons angelic glow. Are you sure it should be "moons"? In this case, it really should be "moon's". Calm resonated ...

Heya, Jon! I'm here, as requested ^^ Lovely poetry! I love your writing style you used. Like, how you capitalized this; It washed through towns and valleys, Taking with it ...

I think the only little things I found that I thought was wrong were these; how you started every single sentence with "remember" and the imagery. OK, I know it ...

My absolute main thing is the shortness of it. You should definitely expand. Also, I noticed in the first and last stanza you capitalized each line, while in the middle ...

Poseidon. The cause of my torment. I would replace that first period with a semi- colon, please. :) Androgeous. My son. Killed by my lover, that flawless bull of Poseidon. ...

Erm... it looks almost like you based this off of Twilight. Try making it a tiny bit more original, dear. Originality is always key. So! I liked this poem, but ...