Published May 24, 2009
((It's memorial day, and we honor veterans as well on this day. I'm part of the Army JROTC and I wrote this thinking of our vets))
Holidays will never come,
for those who died after they won.
The Veterans.
Plagued with memories of falls foes, comrades too,
like children in Vietnam or Nazi of Germany long gone.
"Nothing's free" Someone once said,
Something much be give to recieve it in turn.
sacrifice normal life,
for a world filled with strife.
The veterans live and die
the family cries.
their legends live on,
never forgotten.
The ones who live, the ones who gave up everything.
The veterans.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,890 Literary Works • 673,703 Reviews
I fixed it. Still keeping like children though. It fits for me when I read it out loud ^.^. Yea, As many that hang out there I was surprised.
Hi there! I'm April. I love how you wrote this in honor of the veterans; it's so sweet. But I do have some nit- picks...
About the title. You spelled "sacraficed" wrong. It is sacrificed. An I not an A.
"Plaqued" should be "plagued". I think that's what you meant, but if you didn't, you should still change that to plagued. It fits better and there isn't such a word as "plaqued".
I think the "like" in the beginning of that line should be changed to "as". Also, you need to capitalize Vietnam, Nazi, and Germany. They are names of places, and need to be capitalized, dear.
"Nothings" should be "Nothing's". Because it is a conjunction of Nothing and is. An apostrophe needs to be where the "i" would normally be. Also, you forgot to put a space between the quotation mark and "someone".
Sacrifice, dear.
Either legend or live needs to have an "s" at the end
Over- all;
Lovely poem! Just some punctuation and spelling issues, mostly. Hope to see you around more!
~April