This is a poem I wrote on September 11th, 2008 in remembrance of September 11th, 2001
9/11, Remember
Remember the plane, crashing in
Remember the crumbling towers and the din
Remember the confusion, the screams of the lost
Remember the pain, the sorrow, the loss
Remember the prayers of the families, the friends
As loved one's lives fell apart, and came to an end
Remember the heartbreak when only one hand wore a ring
Remember the sound of the funeral bell's ding
Remember the tears of the entire nation
As the towers fell from their high elevation
Remember the horrors, the injuries
Remember the quiet inquires
Remember the answers of those questions
Remember the strangers who died without a mention
But also remember the heroes, the brave
Remember the lives that they did save
Remember the miracles that helped some survive
Remember the prayers that kept them alive
Remember the bad but also the good
Remember the people who did what they could
Remember, remember, don't forget
Remember September Eleventh, and the fears that were met.
Feel free to review!
~time8keeper
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Thanks for the reviews! Yeah, I see what you're saying about the all the 'remembers.' When I wrote this that was the general rhythm of the poem: for 'remember' to be at the start of each line and then two lines starting with 'as'. But it is a bit much
Thanks for the critiques! I need them and they help!
~time8keeper
I think the only little things I found that I thought was wrong were these; how you started every single sentence with "remember" and the imagery.
OK, I know it is in the title and all, but still; a little variation in beginning the lines is always good to keep the reader captivated, and it makes the poem itself look a bit better at first glance, too.
Also, I would look at putting more imagery in there; like, instead of "her hair was brown, wavy and pretty", you could do "the gentle chocolate river flowed down her back." Cheesy, I know, but it's an example all the same ^^
I love your topic. Absolutely. Love. It.
Write on!
~April