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oregongirl

  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, General Re: The Break In: a YWS fanfiction [Part Two added]

    Hi Claudette! :) Great job on this piece of writing! Great description on everything! I didn't see any mistakes. I thought that you really told the story like it was ...

    Jul 15, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Beach

    Hi I liked the poem but I think that you should fix the things that the people described above. Here was my favorite part: As the sun paints Beautiful hues ...

    Jun 10, 2007
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Broken Butterfly

    well I believe kitty and snoink covered mostly the whole thing. Um..I liked how you described most of the things and yes you did change tense but it didn't really ...

    Jun 10, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: .

    This was a good poem but I think that you could of made it better. 'we we get new' I think this was a typo because there are two we's. ...

    Jun 6, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Unfortunate

    First of all I liked the poem. I do have some suggestions though... Like Claudette said the sentences were a bit jumpy and kind of pulled me away from the ...

    Jun 6, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Oathbroken

    hey...what is up with the -th? that is the first thing that caught me. soundeth and ya anyway I thought it was pretty good. Keep it up! :D ML, Oregongirl

    Jun 5, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Daddy Say's He Loves You

    i liked this poem! :) good job! :D ML, oregongirl :D

    Jun 4, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: thinking about hello goodbye

    this was pretty good! I think whence made a pretty thorough critique. I liked it there were some parts that could be better but ya it was pretty good. :D ...

    Jun 3, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Hurt

    I really liked this poem! :D I loved how it flowed and how you described the emotions it was great! good job! :D

    Jun 3, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Rondelet - Through Jealous Eyes

    I think you should maybe add more. :) I didn't really get what you were trying to say. I also think maybe you shouldn't use "tinted glass" a lot. Except ...

    May 27, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: [deleted]

    I really liked this poem! :) The word "perfect" did bother me after awhile I agree with afterthought. but I didn't think that it was too plain at all! Great ...

    May 27, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Her suicide note

    ok well hello :) um there were a few mistakes in here. Um in the second paragraph the second line the 'i' should be captilized and some of the beginning ...

    May 23, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Among the Vine

    Hello Shawn! :) Welcome to YWS! It says that you are a new member so welcome! ok well I also want to make sure that you know that you should ...

    May 23, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: To Xanthan Gum

    Wow cool poem! :) I really liked this one a lot! I agree with muffin! (EnchantressMuffin) it didn't make sense in some parts but even if it wasn't supposed to ...

    May 23, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: We're all wearing masks...

    Hey! Tell your friend that I thought that it was really good! I liked the concept 'we're all wearing masks' that was really good. Great job! :elephant:

    May 20, 2007


coffee and writing is a superior duo
— LadyBug