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Re: The Break In: a YWS fanfiction [Part Two added]
Hi Claudette! :) Great job on this piece of writing! Great description on everything! I didn't see any mistakes. I thought that you really told the story like it was ...
Sun Jul 15, 2007 4:43 pm -
Re: The Beach
Hi I liked the poem but I think that you should fix the things that the people described above. Here was my favorite part: As the sun paints Beautiful hues ...
Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:43 pm -
Re: The Broken Butterfly
well I believe kitty and snoink covered mostly the whole thing. Um..I liked how you described most of the things and yes you did change tense but it didn't really ...
Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:34 pm -
Re: .
This was a good poem but I think that you could of made it better. 'we we get new' I think this was a typo because there are two we's. ...
Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:00 pm -
Re: Unfortunate
First of all I liked the poem. I do have some suggestions though... Like Claudette said the sentences were a bit jumpy and kind of pulled me away from the ...
Wed Jun 06, 2007 5:44 pm -
Re: Oathbroken
hey...what is up with the -th? that is the first thing that caught me. soundeth and ya anyway I thought it was pretty good. Keep it up! :D ML, Oregongirl
Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:39 pm -
Re: Daddy Say's He Loves You
i liked this poem! :) good job! :D ML, oregongirl :D
Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:39 am -
Re: thinking about hello goodbye
this was pretty good! I think whence made a pretty thorough critique. I liked it there were some parts that could be better but ya it was pretty good. :D ...
Sun Jun 03, 2007 4:18 pm -
Re: Hurt
I really liked this poem! :D I loved how it flowed and how you described the emotions it was great! good job! :D
Sun Jun 03, 2007 4:10 pm -
Re: Rondelet - Through Jealous Eyes
I think you should maybe add more. :) I didn't really get what you were trying to say. I also think maybe you shouldn't use "tinted glass" a lot. Except ...
Sun May 27, 2007 5:41 pm -
Re: [deleted]
I really liked this poem! :) The word "perfect" did bother me after awhile I agree with afterthought. but I didn't think that it was too plain at all! Great ...
Sun May 27, 2007 5:40 pm -
Re: Her suicide note
ok well hello :) um there were a few mistakes in here. Um in the second paragraph the second line the 'i' should be captilized and some of the beginning ...
Wed May 23, 2007 2:50 am -
Re: Among the Vine
Hello Shawn! :) Welcome to YWS! It says that you are a new member so welcome! ok well I also want to make sure that you know that you should ...
Wed May 23, 2007 2:46 am -
Re: To Xanthan Gum
Wow cool poem! :) I really liked this one a lot! I agree with muffin! (EnchantressMuffin) it didn't make sense in some parts but even if it wasn't supposed to ...
Wed May 23, 2007 2:42 am -
Re: We're all wearing masks...
Hey! Tell your friend that I thought that it was really good! I liked the concept 'we're all wearing masks' that was really good. Great job! :elephant:
Sun May 20, 2007 11:36 pm
