mystogan

--“Wait, your organs? I thought they were the dragon’s… and you are a dragon,” the dragon boy nodded -- I know this is FLo talking but when you saying the ...

Oh this is going so good. I like how you completely distracted me from the plot there for a time. All that bit about the laundry really got me into ...

At the start i thought nothing was going to happen but i like the way the tension built up until it was obvious the the information was going to be ...

Uh, this may sound wierd but i like it, although it needs to be split up into the structure of a poem. I think it actually has a very good ...

ooh, I am so siked. This has become such a thriller mystery. Its like i have been reading a whole novel with the real answer about to come out. Oh ...

aha, I knew it. But then again i am still confused. So is the demon boy evil or is he not. Or is the dragon evil or is he not. ...

Damn, there i was finally identifying who the enemy was but then you had to go and confuse me again. Now I literally don't know whose side to take. demons, ...

oh wow, she is knocked out again, poor girl she really is helpless. And now i am left very confused. I don't know who the good person is. I remember ...

oh and one more thing, for once the blatant bold effectis good. I like how you talk about the thing and it in bold writing, it actually gives it a ...

I have to say this is one of the most original things i have ever read. Not in the wildest dreams would i ever even imagine such absurd concepts let ...

Now i like this a lot more, there is so much more details even though everything is still in the dark. this is something worth reading because it makes me ...

I really like the way the person is so uncertain of what they are saying, everytime they say no and then emphasise what they mean or when they say yes ...

I think this is an alright start but it lacks overall information. I am not saying there needs to be a definite amount but there should be just enough so ...

I like how you built up tension using this chapter, everything is suspended around her moment of arrival and the way you described how each perosn got there makes it ...

hey i jsut wanted to start off by saying you should check your work in some places, spelling and punctuation needs correcting as well being put in some places. Anyhow ...