moment

Hey. Overall, I enjoyed this piece, perhaps because I can relate with the feelings described. You commented how this is really just a bunch of feelings written down and that ...

Hey! Welcome, first of all. I liked this poem. It's simple, it's clear what you wanted to say, it flows easily. I'm not quite sure if by ''And each face, ...

Hey! Welcome to yws :) So this writing is alright. It's encouraging and sort of a feel-good text. You repeat ''want'' and ''others'' a lot, so I'd maybe introduce some ...

Hey! First of all, this is good. I could like it. You missed a lot of comas, so be careful about that. I would rephrase a lot of sentences, for ...

Hey! You just reviewed my work, so I wanted to return the favour. And I'm so glad I did. I'm not just flattering you when I say - this is ...

Hey! I liked the poem, it has good rhythm. My favorite line is ''Tears blur the thin line between death and life.''. It's a really effective metaphor. I'm not a ...

Hey! This piece is great. I love the first part the best, mostly because of the metaphor about falling. The content and points are solid and I wouldn't change anything ...

Hey! This is a good poem, flows nicely. You captured the moment well. This may be just my preference, but I would replace 'when she passed' with 'as she passed' ...

Hey! You just reviewed my text, so I wanted to check out who I was speaking to. (It's a pleasant surprise.) So overall this is an interesting introduction, makes me ...

You repeat 'cheats' twice, maybe you could use decieve/fraud. I don't know if I sort of miss the point in poetry if I approach with logic (maybe I don't understand ...

I really like the comparison with the mirage, but you could shape the sentence better ('during summer' seems clumsy). Perhaps: 'like the mirage you see on the summer road' or ...