maxlovesfang15

This was a good poem :) I think the comma after chest is unnecessary though. And so is the one after me. You aren't supposed to use a comma before ...

I'm sort of lost as to what you're trying to tell the reader in this poem. I know you are describing memories in the first parts but then towards the ...

I love this! I think it was really cool. I could sort of imagine the girl's eyes and looking into them, seeing what you're describing here. I feel like she's ...

Well like everyone else said the rhyme scheme was weird-ish but I liked it. Sounds fresh and new! Sounds interesting. I feel like the person who s talking in the ...

Ok first off, I found this poem hilarious. I'm a girl, and I don't even wear those shorts. (I'm not allowed to, plus I wouldn't wear them if I was ...

I was going to click the 'submit' button on the tab. I couldn't find it. I realised it was hidden under a serious amount of 'unuse dust'. *coughs* Yes, it's ...

Turn 1: The First Whispers I walk the Silver City alone. The moonlight shimmers off the tall buildings, devoid of life and cold in their beauty. Everybody is asleep but ...

hmmm I like it. It was kind of awkward, the part where you said "and you're wishing ot be dead" but I don't know how you can change that. And ...

AMAZING! I actually felt what the MC was feeling. I think what the last sentence is trying to say is well... um how do I put this? Ok the MC ...

I thought she was going to jump in the ocean and drown herself, but then she hit her head against the rock, and I'm like, "Uh-oh." It was sad, but ...

Prologue “You’re Moira’s kid aren’t you?” that’s a sentence that never seems to die (I think the "that" should be capitalized;I think) . I get asked that all the time. ...

All I can say is that you had a lot of spelling mistakes. You should check your spelling. Then there were some things you cloud've seperated and made more clear. ...