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Re: Null
I absolutely loved it! It instantly drew me in, and I loved the descriptions of your characters. The ending was sooooo good! I just loved it, and it leaves it ...
Oct 15, 2012 -
Re: Let's buy a Death Permit!
It was really good. Wow, that sounds stupid. Sorry. I haven't written a review for a while! I don't usually read stories as long as this one (I'm lazy and ...
Oct 14, 2012 -
Re: ZPG: Zombie Prevention Group
Ok I want to read more. Seriously? Nick and Sarah? You can do better than that! I mean, the name of your first crush and the name of your favorite ...
Aug 31, 2012 -
Re: Pink Ribbons and Sunflowers
This is going to be a very short review. I found absolutly nothing wrong with it. I loved this. I loved the descriptions, the vaugeness that makes it so... like ...
Aug 31, 2012 -
Re: -
First of all, welcome to YWS! I'm pretty new here myself, but I hope ypu like it as much as I do. I only found one mistake. "awaken up" This ...
Aug 31, 2012 -
Re: Volume 1
I really liked it. I agree with Clarity: Most little kids might not understand the language, but you may be surprised about how great some little kids can read. I ...
Aug 30, 2012 -
Re: Veri: Chapter One
"No breath escapes his lips; no words leave his mouth. His body lay still" Ok here, you're talking in present tense and then you switch to past tense. It should ...
Aug 30, 2012 -
Re: Devil With A New T-Shirt
I like it. I think it would be a little short, but the song I started writing is only three lines so far, so I'm not going to judge! I'd ...
Aug 28, 2012 -
Re: Red Rimmed: Chapter One.
I agree about what wreckergirl21 said about the brands of makeup. I think that you should leave that part out, maybe have her mess up on her makeup like everyone ...
Aug 28, 2012 -
Re: Red Rimmed: Prologue.
This is the perfect prolouge: You pull the reader in instantly Leave them wanting more Leave it open enough for the rest of your story Develop the character somewhat and ...
Aug 28, 2012 -
Re: and the lone girl in rome
I really like it! My favorite part of poetry is that you don't have to have correct punctuation, indentation, ect. so really, there is nothing wrong with it. I think ...
Aug 27, 2012 -
Re: Red roses hurts the most - Chapter 1
I loved it! "like if she had a time limit" Here you can just write "like she had a time limit" I saw you did this several times. I really ...
Aug 27, 2012 -
Re: The Pit: Descent
I found this part confusing "Eventually they got the point and he was all, but left alone." I think you worded it kind of weird, but that can be easily ...
Aug 27, 2012 -
Re: The King is Dead
I think it is a great story. If you write more please tell me. In the second paragraph, you had a typo "They are amazement." Besides that, it was perfection. ...
Aug 27, 2012 -
Re: A Song Of Twisted Rapture
I love it! I agree that the brother-sister thing was very gross, but then I remind myself that this takes place (when does this take place?) a long time ago, ...
Aug 27, 2012
