luna_the_shiekah

My my Lucy, quite the description you got there. I really liked the images you created. :) I'm not really sure what I can say that everyone else has. You ...

I thought it was cute. :) I can just imagine a little porcupine nuzzling the ends of a broomstick. He spent all his time with her; happy for her quiet ...

Interesting start, though there are quite a few instances where you don't capitalize when you need to. Just tighten that up and I think you'll have a good tale on ...

Such description of Danteel's torture! I like the small details you put into this, like how English is known as Basic. And being the wierdo I am, I totally see ...

I may never get another chance to look at Fleur lying in such a way. You should take out the 'lying'. Finally, her sturdy bridge collapsed and she rolled over ...

I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read. Of course, there are the few typos here and there but I'm sure everyone whose posted previous to me already pointed ...

I really liked it! The rhythm was a bit...off but it seemed to work. At least in my opinion, though do take my crit with a grain of salt, I ...

Mud flew everywhere as he dived into the black pit of goo behind the famed apple tree that made up his imaginary war base. May want to change 'dived' to ...

Then, with his silence, she glanced up at his chiseled face and hard eyes. His hard eyes stared out at nowhere, but for a second, she thought she could see ...

“So…how do you do this?” “I, ah…I don’t know.” “What do you mean you don’t know?” “I’ve never done this before either.” “Come on. Surely it’s no different from doing ...

I liked it, but I think the (like the ocean) seems to knock the rhythm off for a moment. I don't mind all the other comments and lines in parantheses, ...

Wow! What a cliffhanger! And instead of critiquing this, I shall leave that to people better suited for the job and be your cheer team instead. Good chapter! If not ...

She loses her balance and stumbles a little. You probably could take out the 'a little' and just leave it as 'stumbles'. Flashing down upon her silhouette figure. One or ...

I liked it no matter how disjoined it seemed. I love how Fletch seems a tad off his rocker and I'm curious has to why Earth is off creating colonies ...

Now you can take my crit witha grain of salt, I don't personally write poetry because I rather suck at it and prefer reading other person's poetry. Everyone has already ...