krazywriter

Hey there! Great start to this. I have no idea what the title should be since I don't know the rest of the story, but I think you can go ...

Love it! It sounds so thoughtful, reflections of someone who might not have done it right. It's true- one time is all you get. Memories do fade. How to retain ...

Quite the interesting story! I love how you used the recording throughout this piece. I noticed how what it was saying was often exactly what he wasn't doing, like taking ...

Hello! A few more things for you besides what KatGirl wrote: When using dialogue, a new speaker should mean a new paragraph. Your fifth paragraph has both Mrs. M. and ...

Nice! I'd love to do a lot of these things! Very interesting thoughts! Nicely rhyming lines. The flow is a little bit broken when you have lines with varying syllable ...

What a powerful story! An excellently done exaggeration of how people will go to great lengths to get what they need or want. You showed the struggles so clearly. The ...

Well said. Since KatGirl pretty much has the corrections covered, I'll just give you my thoughts. I think this is a great piece. A great way to put words to ...

Okay, despite being creepy, that was a pretty good song... One thing I noticed was that the number of syllables in some lines don't always seem to fit, like "the ...

This is quite the intriguing piece. However, I found the story a little bit hard to follow. You have a lot of punctuation, word confusion, and capitalization mistakes. One thing ...

Nice. That's a take on the story I've never heard before. He was going to make a tree house out of a cherry tree? The poem itself is short and ...

Hello! Welcome to YWS! Interesting piece you got here! So intense! Just a few things I noticed that could be improved. "She heard the trees rusting not to (should be ...

Sounds to me like something someone said that really hurt. Like from the line "all those ink-dripping words." Someone made a mean remark concerning something about you that you hoped ...

Intriguing story. James doesn't seem to bothered at the knowledge of his time of death. Why is he reading a book anyway? And who's Rick? By the way, you said ...

This story is really interesting! I personally like this kind of topic. It's unique, putting a twist on typical fantasy stories. Though I think the dream scenes are interesting, it ...

Once upon a time, there was nothing. And because there was nothing, nothing happened. The end. Or is it? Once upon a time, there was nothing. One day, that nothing ...