Memories of the Heart

okay so hey bro.
Good job on your first poem!

I would like to begin by giving the piece of advice I give every poet, because it was the best advice given to me after publishing my first poem on YWS: use more imagery.
Like DeProfundis said, it's a literal poem...but I would like to see you change some phrases to make it really stick with the reader. The better you can do that, the more interesting it will be, and the better your message will come across. Or at least stay in the audience's brains.
Another way to do this is with similes and metaphors. Lots of them! That's poetry! Don't TELL me how to make a memory...show me.
Pretend you're a mysterious old witch who speaks in riddles to a fantasy novel's MC. What makes the story interesting is that you have to figure out what the message is, and what to do with what you've learned.
Does that make sense?

Also try to be sure you don't use the word "memory" too often (if you take my former advice), and words like it. Repetitiveness of words is my pet peeve.

One note on the word 'therefore': I think of this as a mathematical, scientifical (that's not a word) kind of word. One you would use in a proof or essay, or a common word you'd find in the Bible . I don't think it fits in a poem.

Formatting/punctuation-wise, I'd kinda like seeing this as a two-three short stanza poem. Just my opinion. It's the awkward length where you're not quite sure if it should be one stanza or split. Maybe you'll see how it fits best as you revise.

Also, (totally a suggestion, I have no idea) I like using two hyphens conjoined after a line instead of one.
e.g.

So make it last, and form a memory--

When published, this stands out better from afar. Otherwise it looks too much like another old comma or period. I don't know, I just like it.

Good message. I think with editing this will be a hit poem!

~iron.n

Overall I thought it was a well put together poem. You gave a great message through this poem, and I like how you put "Choose carefully your memories" at the beginning and the end. One correction I have though is in your sixth line "Once chance is all you're given." I would suggest that you change "Once" to "One." Other than that I thought it was perfect.
All in all, great job!

It's a very literal poem, but that works, given it's written to convey a very specific message. Structure-wise it's not too complex, although that does fit.

Breaking each line with punctuation helps to place emphasis on each phrase, which I like. There aren't any errors I can notice. (It really isn't my type of poetry to be honest, but it's good.)

This is probably me being fussy, but the semicolons almost don't seem to fit with the style of the poem, or the rest of punctuation. If it were me, I'd replace with hyphens, but the poem is absolutely fine with the semicolons.

Love it! It sounds so thoughtful, reflections of someone who might not have done it right. It's true- one time is all you get. Memories do fade. How to retain them?

I couldn't find any conventional errors. You did such a good job with this. Even putting punctuation at the end of each line seems to be working out pretty well. I'd say it's just about perfect the way it is. The lines don't rhyme, but not all poems have to. Yours is just fine. Great job! Keep it up!